


The Magic of Christmas

by morganaDW (morgana07)



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Bottom Jared, Christmas, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Hurt Jensen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Past bottom Jensen, Light Angst, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Other: See Story Notes, Post Mpreg, Protective Jared, Protective Jensen, Schmoop, Short Chapters, Tags May Change, Top Jensen Ackles, implied past mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-24
Updated: 2016-01-10
Packaged: 2018-05-09 01:57:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 33,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5521130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/morgana07/pseuds/morganaDW
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jensen Ackles has a beautiful six-year old daughter, a life he enjoys and a past that he's been hiding from since he left his old life behind to protect he child and the man he loved. He'd thought he'd succeeded until events right before Christmas bring both that past and the danger he'd run from back to him.</p><p>Federal Marshall Jared Padalecki was focused on his career and finding a serial killer who'd been killing witches all along the East Coast. He'd long since convinced himself that he'd left the hurt of his past behind six years earlier only to realize with a shocking surprise that both his past and his present are connected.</p><p>For Jared to solve his case he must also face the pain of his past or else risk losing not only the man he'd once loved but the child he didn't know he had.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: Language, explicit content eventually, mention of past Mpreg but nothing too graphic. There's also a mention of past bottom Jensen but nothing is shown. I'm 99.8% certain this will be a bottom Jared story when it gets to that part but if that changes I'll adjust the tags.
> 
> Disclaimer: Nope, I don't own anything.
> 
> Author Note: So while I'm working on my RBB piece I decided to try to get out some type of holiday piece. I wanted a one-shot of fluff but the muse decided a short chapter piece was what it wanted so I'm looking at probably 3 chapters, maybe 4 but nothing longer for this one. Thanks and Merry Christmas!

**The Magic of Christmas**

**Chapter One**

“Great-Grammy said on Yule my biggest wish ever would come true if I wished really, really hard so I did while she spoke funny words. Then her stove blew green fire and Coco the bird flew around the house and…”

Jensen Ackles paused in tucking his ever lively and very talkative six year old daughter into bed a few nights before Christmas to lift his eyes up cautiously. “All that happened huh?” he watched deep hazel eyes dance happily as Jayna Lynn Ackles giggled at his serious tone. “I guess Daddy will be reminding your Great-Granny about doing that stuff in front of you right after she banishes the unicorn that I’m going to wake up to in the morning.”

“Oh, I didn’t wish for a unicorn, Daddy,” Jayna replied while clutching a worn teddy bear in one arm while reaching out to try to touch the amulet her father wore that had always fascinated her.

“Well I guess I should be thankful for that at least,” Jensen smiled, finishing the same bedtime routine his daughter had had since she’s been born before sitting on the side of the bed to meet her dimpled smile with one of his own. “Should I ask what your biggest wish ever might be or would that make it not work?”

“I wished for my other Daddy. Great-Granny said since it’s my wish that it’ll happen if I believe so…do you think he’ll like me, Daddy?”

Jensen was fairly certain his heart might come out of his chest if he could ever dislodge it from his throat at the shocking innocent question as well as the fact that his interfering grandmother had managed to break both of his main rules in regards to his daughter all in one day.

“Your…he…” Jensen paused to take a shaky breath before looking into eyes that he could see were shining with more flecks of gold like they tended to when his little girl was anxious and happy and he didn’t have the heart to break hers any more than he feared it would be when her wish didn’t happen. “He would adore you just like I do, Jayna. Your Daddy loved everyone he met. He had a huge heart with your eyes and your dimples.”

“Then why did he leave us?” Jayna asked the one question that she’d never tried to before. “Grampa said it was because he didn’t love us and he was a two-faced, backstabbing…Daddy!” she gasped in surprise as the fireplace in her room suddenly flared to life. “You say when Great-Granny’s fireplace does that it’s because her house has ghosties. Does our house have ghosties?”

“Yeah, pre-Christmas ghosties that say little girls need to go to sleep if they plan to help me bake cookies tomorrow and go shopping for a tree,” Jensen forced his smile to be calm despite the surge of temper that he’d barely been able to bring back under control.

Standing to smooth a hand over soft blond hair that was slowly starting to turn darker, he bent to kiss his daughter’s cheek before doing the same to her teddy bear and turning on a small lamp by the door that would cast a soft glow around the room.

Jensen paused with his hand on the door, feeling curious eyes staring at him and knowing his daughter would never forget the doubts and fears now placed in her gentle thoughts, promising to have a long talk with his parents about what they said on this topic to his child.

“Your Daddy loved us, baby. Your Daddy would’ve given up everything he had and knew for us so I don’t want you listening to Grampa or Grandma if they say bad things about him,” he closed his eyes against a stab of pain in his chest as bitter memories began to come back despite his best attempts to avoid them. “Your grandparents didn’t know or understand Daddy like I did so they didn’t approve of all of my choices but I promise you that if you ever have a chance to meet him that he will love you. Now, go to sleep and think of the cookies you want to make.”

“Love you, Daddy!” Jayna called before snuggling under her blankets with dreams and wishes floating in her head along with dreams of a tall, handsome man with hazel eyes flecked with golds and blues and a laughing smile. “I wish for you to help Daddy not be sad, Daddy.”

Jensen missed this softly whispered wish as he pulled the door to his daughter’s bedroom closed with a shaky sigh, making it to the top of the stairs before having to sit down and let the sudden raw emotions that had been bubbling to the surface since hearing what Jayna had wished. “Damn it!”

For six years the 26 year old single father had refused the memories of his life before his daughter was born. He had made the choices he had not only for her sake but for the life of the man he’d loved since he was ten years old and met a new boy in the tiny town of Liberty, Rhode Island.

The tiny coastal town had been founded shortly after the hysteria of the Witch Trials had killed so many. It was founded by a few families seeking not only religious freedom but freedom of another kind so Liberty became one of many towns in the United States settled by and mainly inhabited by witches.

For many decades, the residents of Liberty remained just witches of varying factors and powers but slowly as the world changed and the younger generations got older, it spread to include normal people as well and a peaceful cohabitation had always been maintained.

Jensen’s family had been one of those families who had started the town so he knew the history of his line, his power, and what was expected of him when he got older. He just didn’t always approve of his life being chosen for him so he guessed maybe that had a huge part in what happened when he met the boy who would eventually turn Jensen’s world upside down.

“You had no right to pull that crap, Grams. You know how I feel about it now,” he said between clenched teeth, feeling the change in the air around him. “And you can inform my father that if he ever tells Jayna anything negative about Jared again I will keep that promise I made the night I left Liberty and they will never see me or their granddaughter again!”

“You might choose to not follow tradition but I still do and since the little one isn’t aware of her full heritage it was mainly a little light magic to make her ohh and ahh,” Annette Ackles spoke from the bottom of the stairs where she stood with her gnarled cane clutched in hand. “Jensen, you know the choice you made not only when you left home but that you chose to have the child was not taken well by others. Your parent’s love you and they dote on Jayna. However, the longtime hatred between our kind and the Padalecki’s will always remain…especially given recent events.”

“It was because of those so-called ‘hatreds’ that I chose to not only break my own heart, hide my child from a man that I know would give his life for us, would’ve walked away from everything he knew but refuse my heritage so Jayna will never be forced to make the same choices I have,” Jensen shot back tightly while heading down to the kitchen to pour himself a cup of coffee. “This bitterness between witch and hunter was stupid when it started and it’s even more stupid now that modern day people refuse to live peacefully.”

A petite woman whose flawless skin barely showed her true age, Annette had watched her children grow and now watched her grandchildren beginning to start their own families. Most remained in or around Liberty but Jensen had broken from many traditions the night he informed his stunned family that not only was he moving away but he carried the child of the son of a family who still sought out the death of all witches.

Jensen had known most of his life that he was gay. He’d known since he was 14 that he carried a gene that could allow him to conceive a child. And while neither was popular in the Ackles’ family, it was abided because he was the oldest and looked on to carry on many traditions despite Jensen having his own life plans.

Now six years later Jensen had made a life for himself and his bright eyed little girl in a small town in upstate New York. He was a successful writer of children’s books as well as a few science fiction titles written under another name and no one knew their resident author had abilities outside the norm despite rare visits by the odd and often eccentric older woman.

“Gram, I love you but I just want my daughter to grow up without worrying about kids calling her names or having to deal with learning spells or magic if she doesn’t want to,” Jensen rubbed a hand over his chest, feeling the amulet he still wore warm at his touch and frowned at this but quickly dismissed it. “Because Jayna is also Jay’s daughter, she isn’t full-blooded witch so I’m hoping to go as long as possible without explaining anything weird to her so…can you stop with the spells and…the talking bird?” he asked hopefully, turning to look down at his grandmother with a sad smile. “I…I didn’t even know that would be her wish. I didn’t know she was starting to get curious about him but I guess it’s natural since she has more of his looks and behavior than mine.”

“Oh, she has plenty of you inside her, Jensen Ross Ackles,” Annette chuckled while patting her grandson’s cheek but pulling back with a gasp when a sudden image came to her. “No. That can’t be possible.”

Jensen had felt the wave of brief fear in his strong-willed grandmother but before he could ask what she’d seen or felt another wave, this one much more powerful, had his eyes snapping up toward the ceiling a second before he was bolting back up the steps with panic welling in his throat.

“Jayna!” he shoved open the door to his daughter’s pink and purple decorated bedroom with a shout that gave way to a near sob of terror when instead of seeing Jayna sound asleep all Jensen found was an empty bed. “Jayna Lynn! Answer me right now. This is not the time to play hide and seek with Daddy! Where is she?”

This was demanded to his grim faced grandmother who was now standing in the door to the child’s empty bedroom. “What the hell did you see and where the hell is my daughter?” Jensen demanded, fury and fear both making a side of him fight to be free but for Jayna’s sake he shoved back the power that was fighting to be free. “Gram? Tell me what’s going on?”

Annette had looked around the room but sensed nothing evil so she knew whatever had happened to remove her great-granddaughter from the safety of her bed had nothing to do with what she’d sensed upon touching the child’s father down in the kitchen.

“Jayna, wherever she is now, is safe, Jensen,” she told him while slowly reaching out to her anxious and agitated grandson; eyes grim, mouth set in a worried frown. “You, on the other hand, are not as safe. He who has been seeking you since your departure from Liberty is now close.”

“Huh? What? Gram, stop the mystic, mysterious crap and give me a damn straight answer!” Jensen felt the wave of power before it slapped him in the back of the head in a warning he recalled from his childhood. “Who’s looking for me? Why would anyone be looking for me? I left all that behind me when I left home and stopped using even a portion of my power. I…”

“A hunter never stops looking for his prey, Jensen. One who is as obsessed with you as this one was would never stop hunting you and he hasn’t,” Annette was grim, facing Jensen fully and wishing she had more comforting news. “To protect yourself and your family, you might have to open yourself again to your birthright.”

Jensen’s knees felt weak and he let himself drop to his daughter’s bed, fingers closing on an old blanket that his little girl had yet to give up despite being tattered and as old as she was. “Jared…Jared swore he wouldn’t become what his family was. He’d never…besides the last spell I cast before leaving Liberty was to make sure he wouldn’t hurt. I…made him forget him, Gram. He’d have no reason to hunt me unless…Where’s Jayna?” he had to know this before he could focus on anything else. “Gram, where is my daughter?”

“If what happened here is what I believe then Jayna is with her father, Jensen,” Annette replied grimly.

“Jared,” Jensen whispered, unsure if he wanted to be sick or more terrified than he already was. “Oh, God.”

**TBC**


	2. Chapter 2

**The Magic of Christmas**

**Chapter Two**

“Okay, so let me get this straight. This asshole serial killer that’s been making our lives hell for a month or more and who has had even the head of the Bureau coming down on the chief’s head isn’t just a run of the mill crazy ass serial killer but some guy who thinks he’s fulfilling a centuries old mandate to kill witches. And the victims are supposed witches or according to our killer’s warped brain they were. Do I want to ask how you know any of this or just chalk it up to that past you won’t talk about?”

Federal Marshall Chad Michael Murray had seen a lot in his career but this recent string of murders was now officially topping his list of the weird and crazy.

He and his partner had been given the assignment when it quickly became plain that the recent string of murders on the East Coast wasn’t looking like a normal random killer since the victims were male and female, young and old. The only thing they all had in common was an odd mark scrawled in the center of their foreheads as if the killer had marked his victims.

The mark wasn’t in any of the databases Chad had tried but the moment his partner had arrived on the scene of one murder after having been off sick for a week he’d quickly identified the mark and Chad’s life hadn’t made sense since that night.

“Hunters have been around as long as witches have existed. It’s a dying breed as most of the family lines who were hunters have either died off or the younger generations decided to not follow in their ancestors’ footsteps as they learned that while some witches were evil and did practice the Dark Arts most just wanted to be left alone.”

“Uh-huh, and we know this how?” Chad watched as his partner paced the computer room where they were trying to find any connection between their victims. “Dude, you’ve been on edge since you saw that mark. You actually snarled at Parker yesterday and that is just not like you, Jaybird. What’s going on in that head of yours?” he asked, reaching out to grab his friend’s arm and frowned when he swore he felt a spark go through his hand. “Jared?”

Jared Padalecki forced himself to relax after he’d felt himself tense at the touch on his arm, unsure how to explain either his recent actions or why he felt like he was about to jump out of his own damn skin.

At 24, he was one of the youngest Federal Marshals in his division but Jared knew he’d worked damn hard to get to where he was in life and never felt one ounce of regret at the things he’d had to give up to make it where he was. Well, there was one thing he regretted but he’d long ago faced that choice hadn’t been his and silently swore to correct it if he was ever given a chance.

Deciding to leave the family business hadn’t been widely accepted by anyone. Jared had faced and accepted banishment from his family six years ago when he’d woken up one day to learn his whole life had just been ripped out from under him; it was made worse when he realized things that he didn’t think he was supposed to know but it had been those things that had helped him to make the break that he’d already been planning to before he lost the man he’d loved.

As a son of a long line of hunters, Jared had been brought up with the strict doctrine of what that meant. He’d been hearing for as long as he could remember what being a hunter in the Padalecki line meant and what was expected of him when it came time for him to carry on that distinction.

Jared’s father as well as five of his six siblings all embraced the life and were proud that they continued to hunt and wipe out witches even in this modern time. His mother and one sister while hunters due to family obligations, didn’t believe in the fervor that some hunters did that all witches were evil.

Even as a child Jared knew he was going to be a huge disappointment to his family. He just didn’t see the need to kill unless the witch in question was evil and hurting other people and then he could see it but only in the most extreme cases.

His family moved around a lot while he’d been growing up since his father thought it was best to not settle down in any one place. That all changed when the Padalecki family moved to the small town of Liberty, Rhode Island when Jared had been 10.

To this day it still confused the 6’4”, broad shouldered and very athletic Federal Marshall why his family of witch hunters would settle in a town founded by and still inhabited by witches. His mother only looked unhappy when asked by her curious son while his father’s answer was always gruff and typical that it was best to keep the enemy close as to judge their habits.

Jared had never seen the residents of Liberty as his enemy or he tried not to given that as a short, chubby kid of 10 and the new kid in school he had his share of bullies. He ignored his older brothers mocking him for not fighting back when he was pushed or shoved but Jared just didn’t like to fight if he could avoid it.

It was one day while walking from school that he was confronted by a couple older students who didn’t like that he’d gotten praise from the teacher for having a correct answer that he was jumped. It was also that day that Jared met Jensen Ackles and one look told the younger boy that his life was about to change; he just hadn’t known how much until much later.

Jensen was two years older, leaner and well known in the town of Liberty as being from one of the original founders of the town. He could also kick butt without so much as raising a finger of the power that Jared had been told all the Ackles family had.

“‘ _You’re from a family of hunters. You could’ve mopped the sidewalk with those guys or anytime that they’ve bothered you,_ ’” Jensen had said once he’d made the point that the boys and the others in school who’d been hassling Jared should just back off now and he was helping Jared pick up his scattered books. “‘ _Why haven’t you_?’”

“‘ _Why didn’t you use magic to scare them away instead of getting into a physical fight?_ ’” Jared had countered while offering a shy smile at the raised eyebrow over his knowledge of who and what Jensen was. “‘ _You know who my family is, it makes sense that I’d know who you are too, right?_ ’”

“‘ _Okay, can’t argue with that logic_ ,’” Jensen had muttered but slowly let his lips curve into a smile as he shrugged. “‘ _I don’t like to use magic unless I have to and I knew I could handle them without it._ ’”

“‘ _I don’t like to fight unless I have to_ ,’” Jared said in return and from that moment it seemed like he and Jensen were just best friends despite their family’s mutual dislike of the other.

It was natural Jared guessed that when they got older, when Jensen hesitantly explained why half the girls in school were pissed off at him that things took the next path between them. “‘ _They wanted me to ask one of them to the dance next weekend and…since I’m gay that kind of doesn’t make sense to me so I told them that. Now they’re mad and now you can breathe again before you pass out, Jay_.’”

“‘ _You’re gay? Seriously?_ ’” at 14, Jared had suspected it wasn’t just with his feelings toward hunting and witches that would upset his family but something a lot more personal. He’d just been unsure about voicing his suspicions until Jensen revealed his own secret.

“‘ _Yeah. I’ve known for a year or so but…just didn’t want to tell you in case finding out that your best friend is gay and that I really think you’re good looking now and will be hotter than hell when we’re grown up freaks you out_ ,’” Jensen coughed nervously as he’d watched a wide-eyed Jared stare at him. “‘ _Dude, say something before I freak out.’_ ”

“‘ _If I say that I really want you to kiss me now because I haven’t been looking at girls nearly as much I have been you would you think it weird?_ ’” Jared had always been told he talked before thinking things thru and could tell the second Jensen’s deep green eyes went wide that he’d repeated this mistake but before he could think of a way to fix whatever he’d screwed up all of Jared’s brain capacity fled the second Jensen’s lips touched his.

“‘ _Nope, not weird at all since I’ve wanted to kiss you for a year_ ,’” Jensen had replied once they’d broken apart to breathe and consider just where to go from this point. “‘ _So…boyfriends cool with you?_ ’”

Jared thought he’d managed a nod all the while wondering which of their parents would react the worst. Now as he listened to Chad mutter behind him, he guessed their parents hadn’t reacted nearly as badly as his oldest brother had.

It had been Ben’s bitter, loud, and violent reaction to Jared informing their parents that not only was he gay but in love with Jensen that caused Jensen to come close to using his powers in anger for the first time in years when a bruised and bloodied Jared appeared on the Ackles’ doorstep later that night.

Ben Padalecki’s temper and massive hate of all witches was the one thing that Jared knew had caused a rift in his household as well as almost having his brother jailed at 16 for assaulting a young couple that he’d assumed were witches but actually hadn’t been.

His hate for Jensen had never been a secret and Jared guessed his announcement had caused the blow-up that finally forced his father to step in and curb his oldest son’s violence before Jared had ended up worse off than he had as well as threaten to disown him if he couldn’t learn to control his outbursts.

Now Jared supposed he shouldn’t be shocked at either what happened the summer he was 18 or what he was seeing happening again. He guessed it was just his fate to have to confront his older brother in some way even if it might cost him what little contact with his family he still retained when he left them and Liberty behind the day after he lost Jensen.

“Jared! Tell me what the hell is up with you and why that mark on all the victims has you freaked out!” Chad’s voice finally hit the tone of voice his normally happy go lucky, playful partner hardly ever used and Jared realized he’d been too deep into his own thoughts again.

“The victims were all marked as witches but each clan of hunters or family has its own brand so in case a hunter doesn’t kill the alleged witch at first other hunters will know it’s been marked and won’t poach so to speak,” Jared finally spoke, tone quiet and without its usual slight accent that could’ve been Texas or someplace else as he’d gone to great lengths to chance as much about him as he could to prove that he was nothing like his family much less his brother.

“Seriously? If these guys are that obsessed and I’ve talked to a few that sure seem like they are, why would they mark a witch but not kill him or her?” Chad figured he’d be pouring over files all weekend so he could figure out what was going on since he could tell this case was bringing back bad crap to his friend. “And is it too much to hope that these different brands might be in a database so we can at least have a clue who the hunter we’re hunting is?” he asked hopefully as he felt the phone in his pocket buzz.

“Actually the Petitt-McComber Law of 1957 made it mandatory for all hunter clans to register their marks in a National Database for just this reason,” the young computer technician spoke up from where she was running their mark on a computer. “This mark is similar is several but so far I’m not hitting a match so either the image wasn’t clear enough, someone broke the law by not registering it or…”

“Or is a hybrid mark of a rogue hunter looking to say a hunter is doing these killings but not ready to reveal his whole hand by giving us a way to track him yet,” Jared spoke up grimly as he turned from staring at the most recent victim’s photo. “Forget matching the brand. Run the victims and see if anything in any of their backgrounds connects them to one another in any way,” he instructed and felt his phone go off just as Chad pulled his own phone out to look at it. “You too?”

A look at who the hell would be texting either of them inside their headquarters had Chad frowning even more before looking up at Jared. “The boss is shouting for us to get our asses upstairs. I guess there’s something in his office he wants us to see.”

“Maybe it’s the clue to breaking this case so I won’t have to work on Christmas,” Jared tossed a wave to the computer tech and headed for the elevator with Chad a step behind.

“You always work on Christmas in some way or another, dude,” Chad argued while debating on pulling his jacket back on or just staying casual since their unit was pretty laid back as far as a dress code went. “I asked you last year to come eat at my place cause my folks were visiting and we both know you can’t cook worth a damn.”

Jared inwardly cringed at that reminder of both his lack of cooking skills and that he’d turned his friend’s invitation down but he just had serious issues with Christmas for the last six years and preferred to stay alone with his memories of when he used to love this time of year…when he’d dreamed of a future and was happy.

“I ordered dinner from the local store already so I won’t starve and if this asshole keeps killing people I doubt if we’ll see any time off,” he stepped out of the elevator to see several of their office all hurrying around while a few were gathered in the doorway to their boss’s office. “Gen, tell me the killer turned himself in and we get the rest of the week off.”

“No, but after the shock of what just happened I think the office shrinks might be giving a few people time off,” Genevieve Cortese, a petite dark haired young woman who mainly worked intel these days since an injury sidelined her, replied while turning to give Jared a curious look as if searching his face for a long moment before nodding. “Huh. He’s right. She’s got your eyes and dimples. You have some explaining to do, Marshall Padalecki,” she smiled while nodding to the office. “JD’s waiting so go on in.”

“Huh? What the hell did I do to get pulled into Morgan’s office?” Jared blinked as Gen walked off laughing while telling Chad she was off to get some cookies and milk for a little fairy. “Did someone spike the punch for the office party we weren’t supposed to be having and Gen got into it or…oh my God.”

Jeffrey Dean Morgan had been in law enforcement in some way since he got out of High School. He didn’t always care for sitting behind a desk these days but accepted that a bum knee, a gift from a bullet 10 years earlier, made field work too dangerous for not only him but his agents.

This latest case was bothering him because he’d seen the damage both rogue witches as well as rogue hunters could cause. He also knew the risks to innocents were huge if what he was beginning to suspect might be true. It also made him doubt his choice of putting Jared on this case but knew the young man was his best agent and just had to hope that the anonymous emails coming thru to the FBI were incorrect.

The grizzled older man had been pouring over files, clues, witness statements as well as the last coroner’s report, all things that JD knew his men had checked and rechecked, and had just been about to call them up to go over things when he’d felt the energy in his office change, his computer literally blew up and his lights blinked all before he found himself staring into gold flecked hazel eyes of a freckled face little girl dressed in flannel PJs, holding a stuffed bear and asking to please see her Daddy.

The child’s shocking and unexpected arrival had sent the office into a rush of activity though JD was quick to reassure the big eyed child that she was safe while growling for someone to find Padalecki ASAP.

Several curious Marshalls were crowding in his door while JD leaned back in his chair to listen to little Jayna Lynn Ackles, as she’d told him was her name, what had happened earlier that day as she sat crossed legged on his desk.

“And my Great-Grammy said since it was Yule if I wished really, really hard for my greatest wish ever that it would come true after her stove blew flames and her talking bird flew around the house so I wished for my other Daddy because my Daddy misses him even though he doesn’t say that but I know he does cause Daddy’s are horrible at telling fibs,” Jayna propped her chin on her small hand much like she’d seen JD do earlier to stare at the older man whose dark beard and hair was streaked with silver. “But I think Great-Grammy did something wrong cause Daddy was supposed to come to us, not bring me to Daddy. Is my Daddy here?” she asked while looking around with wide eyes.

JD waved the people in his door away as he’d felt they were making the child uneasy even before he noticed her easing her thumb closer to her mouth like he could recall his own kids doing when scared of new surroundings. “Well, I think he might be since I only know one guy in my office with eyes like you have. Except Jared never mentioned anything about knowing a pretty little fairy princess,” he offered a gentle smile while also holding out a small piece of candy that he kept in his desk drawer for moments when he needed an energy boost.

Jayna giggled and shyly took the candy, popping it into her mouth. She’d been scared when she woke up fully and realized she wasn’t in her bed. She wasn’t sure where she was but she suspected it was due to her wish coming true…she just hoped her Daddy wasn’t too worried about her and wouldn’t tell Santa about this.

Hearing the voice of the man he’d been expecting, JD looked up just as he heard Jared’s softly whispered oath and could see the open and honest shock on his man’s face as he looked at the little girl on the desk; the little girl who very clearly had his eyes and dimples.

“Hello, Marshall. Is there something you’d like to share with the rest of us now, Jared?” he asked in a perfectly calm tone so he didn’t scare Jayna who had just noticed the tall man in the door.

“Jayna? This is Marshall Jared Padalecki,” JD stood up slowly to move to the side of his desk, letting the child grip his finger as she carefully stood up on the piece of furniture to stare at equally wide hazel eyes. “Jared? This is Jayna Lynn Ackles. She says she’s looking for her Daddy because of some Yule wish that seems to have backfired. I’m guessing by that look that you recognize something at least?”

The second he’d stepped into JD’s office to see his eyes along with what Jared could tell would be his dimpled smile matched with a nose and freckles that even now Jared recalled vividly he knew this child was connected to him in some way. He just wasn’t certain how…until JD said her name along with who she was looking for and Jared wondered how it would look on his service record if he passed out right then.

Jayna had looked to see who’d come in the door when she blinked before breaking into a huge smile. “He looks like the photo my Daddy has in his wallet only he’s not smiling,” she whispered to JD, fingers clinging to her teddy bear as she and Jared stared at one another with heads cocked in a similar manner as if trying to decide what to do. “Hi,” she murmured softly, wishing she had her Daddy to hide behind like she would when meeting someone new. “I’m…Jayna. Are you…are you my Daddy?”

Jared knew even if he had forgotten Jensen totally, like he thought might have been the man’s intention, a single look at this child with her gold and blue flecked hazel eyes, dimpled cheeks dusted with freckles and darkening blond hair falling into her face every memory he had of the man would have come rushing back.

Hearing and ignoring a stunned Chad, Jared stepped closer to the desk to bend down so he could be eye level with the now nervous child as he slowly smiled fully and saw her own smile popping out. “I’m Jared,” he said gently and held out a hand carefully to her before swallowing thickly as he answered her last question. “And I think I must be.”

Little fingers lifted to touch Jared’s palm and Jayna giggled when her hand all but vanished into the much bigger one that held hers to shake it ever so gently. “You’re taller than Daddy and he’s tall,” she said in what sounded like awe, placing her other hand over Jared’s cheek.

“Yeah, I am now but it wasn’t always like that,” Jared told her, sitting on the edge of the desk and basically ignoring his boss and partner in order to focus on a daughter that he hadn’t known existed while starting to put pieces together but now had a lot more questions. “You have Jensen’s freckles and his nose,” he gave a light tap to the end of her nose and felt his throat close with emotions he hadn’t felt in years when suddenly Jayna’s arms were around his neck.

“Daddy!” she cried out happily. “Great-Grammy was right and my wish came true…sort of! Daddy said you loved us and would love me no matter what Grandpa says and…”

Jared’s arms had wrapped around the little girl the moment she latched onto his neck and while he knew he should be furious with Jensen and a part of him was, another part of Jared suspected his boyfriend had a reason for not only leaving him like he had but also hiding their daughter.

“Your Daddy was right,” he told Jayna once he’d cleared his throat and thought he could speak without his voice breaking right there in front of everyone. “I do love you, Jayna. I still love your Daddy too. Though he and I might yell a little when I take you home to him but that’s what grown-ups do sometimes…especially grown-ups who make rash decisions without telling me stuff.”

Jared added the last part to himself since if Jensen’s temper hadn’t changed since they last saw one another he was certain there was going to be a lot of yelling because Jared wasn’t thrilled to learn that Jensen hadn’t just tried to cast some spell to make him forget him but he also neglected to mention that he must have been pregnant when he left.

A sudden deep throat being cleared reminded Jared of where he was and while he lifted Jayna into his arms fully, off the desk he guessed he was going to have to figure out a way to explain not only how he had a child but where she’d come from without possibly upsetting either daughter or friends.

“Okay, so yeah…I know you guys probably have about as many questions as I do,” Jared began as he turned to face not only JD but also Chad and Gen, noticing that sometime JD must have kicked everyone else out and back to work.

Chad had been staring between the little girl and Jared until Gen used her elbow to hit him in the ribs and he blinked. “She’s not saying Mommy, dude,” he said while trying to wrap his head around health lessons he’d learned about years ago but never had any dealings with until now. “You’re not saying Mommy either so…”

“Daddy said I don’t have a Mommy because God made him special so he could have one baby and that was me,” Jayna’s head rested on Jared’s shoulder while her eyes moved to the tall lanky blond guy who had spoken. “It’s okay to be grossed out by that. Some of Daddy’s family don’t like me cause I’m an…ab…abnorm…I’m weird,” she added after struggling with the too big word. “Daddy? Did you just growl?”

“Well, she’s certainly got a brain and a mouth on her,” JD had to be quick not to choke while seeing Gen give a gaping Chad another elbow shot while it was plain to the senior man that Jared did not care for what his daughter was saying.

“Yeah, she got both from Jensen but I can also see I might be shooting people if they call her that in front of me,” Jared wondered just how well the Ackles’ family had taken it that Jensen not only left Liberty but left pregnant. He was now shocked that he hadn’t been killed or turned into anything small and furry since everyone in town knew he and Jensen had been seriously dating.

“You are not weird, Jayna. Some guys like Daddy can have babies while others like your surrogate uncle here can’t and we all thank God for that,” he added with a smirk at Chad, chuckling when Gen slammed her heel into his foot to prevent him from giving a gesture not fit for small children. “Jayna, does Jensen know where you’re at?” Jared suddenly thought to ask when he had to frown at a sudden icy chill going down his spine.

Unused to hearing her father’s real name it took the six year old a moment to understand the question, frowning as she curled her fingers around the ends of Jared’s longer and darker hair. “Ummm, he put me to bed and then I think went to yell at Great-Granny for helping me with my wish so…probably not,” Jayna looked up with wide soft eyes that instantly told Jared his child had the use of ‘puppy dog eyes’ down to a science. “The wish was supposed to bring you to us not bring me to you, Daddy. He won’t be happy but I hope Santa doesn’t get angry cause I left without telling Daddy,” she chewed her bottom lip as tears began to fill her eyes. “Can you call him so he won’t worry?”

Jared would’ve preferred to take the girl home but he knew that he was also in the middle of an active murder case so expecting JD to give him even a day off to take Jayna home to wherever she lived with Jensen was probably not going to happen.

“Yeah, honey, I’ll call Jensen if you can tell me your phone number,” he was saying just as a hurried knock came on the office door and Jared felt his phone ring from a tone that hardly ever called him these days.

“What is it?” JD growled after jerking the door open to the flushed face computer technician. “Is this something you couldn’t have called up?” he demanded gruffly. “As you can see, we have a surprise visitor so this better be important.”

Staring at the big eyed girl clinging to Jared’s neck and now babbling to a smiling Gen about talking birds and wishes, the young technician finally managed to nod while holding up a file. “Jared asked me to run all the victims to see if they had anything in common besides being killed horrifically…”

“Hey! Little ears here!” Chad shot at her; deciding the little fairy like girl was growing on him and knowing there were things she probably shouldn’t be hearing. “G-rate this or tell me outside.”

“Umm, yeah, okay,” the tech blinked but then got back on track while handing JD the file. “On the surface, none of them looks to be connected but when I dug deeper little things started popping out. The biggest thing was at some point they all either lived in or have a connection with some little town in Rhode Island called Liberty,” she was so focused on how much the little girl’s eyes looked like Jared’s that she missed the moment Jared went tense at the name of the town. “All 12 victims were also linked because they were somehow linked to one family that seems to be big back there and…”

Even as Jared was trying to pay attention to what he almost knew was going to be bad as well as listen to Jayna talk to Gen who was working on coaxing the little girl into going with her for a little while the feeling of icy dread was increasing when JD finally snarled at him to answer his damn phone.

“Mr. Beardy Man! That’s a dime in the swear jar!” Jayna chastised a stunned JD while Gen was quick to cover her laugh and Chad didn’t bother to hide his. “Saying bad words isn’t nice my Daddy said…even though he still does when he talks to Grandpa sometimes.”

Jared could already tell he was probably going to have issues with Jensen’s family but put those worries off for later and pulled his phone out to frown as he noticed his sister’s number.

“Hey, Bren,” he greeted while shifting Jayna to his other hip after she stubbornly refused to go with Gen even at the offer of more candy. “This is a really bad time to call so if I can call you back after work that’d be…”

“Jared! You have to stop him!” Brenna Padalecki shouted into the phone, desperate to make her younger brother listen to her while also cursing their family for not stopping the madness sooner. “The killer you’re after? The man, the hunter, who has been leaving that trail of bodies? It’s Ben!”

Hearing that what he was slowly starting to suspect from the clues he’d seen at the crime scenes, Jared went still as he eased Jayna back onto the desk because she’d become intrigued by Chad pulling quarters from her ear.

“How do you know that?” he asked tightly, stepping away from the desk and hoping what he heard next wasn’t what he suddenly thought he might. “Why would he be doing this? He has no reason to have killed…”

“Jared, since you left home, left the way you did and for the reasons you did, Ben’s had one burning desire and regardless of Dad ordering him to leave it alone, to let him go our brother swore to kill one witch in particular,” Brenna glanced over into the worried eyes of their mother before going on slowly. “He’s spent six years killing witches, doing horrible things because he was trying to find the one he blamed for turning your head against the family.

“Last night he called Mom and Dad to tell them that soon it would be over. By the time Christmas fell, the witch that ruined you, turned you would be dead because he’d finally learned where he’d run to and had been hiding,” she paused to hear the sharp inhale of breath and wished there was more that could be done for both her brother and a man that Brenna knew had left to protect Jared. “He’s found Jensen, Jared. He’s found him and plans to kill him!”

**TBC**


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in updating. Had a small issue in the real life but should be able to finish this week...*crosses fingers*

**The Magic of Christmas**

**Chapter Three**

Fear, worry, and a good amount of guilt all were hitting Jensen Ackles hard as he stared at the phone in his hand before letting it drop back in its cradle. “ _Sonuvabitch_!”

Figuring out that his grandmother’s ‘Yule Wish’ had been something else entirely had angered Jensen as well as worried him. He feared not only for his little girl’s physical safety but he also worried for her tender heart.

From the moment Jayna had been an infant, Jensen had known it wasn’t just her eyes and dimples that she’d gotten from her father. No, he’d known the first time his baby had cried at a voice raised in anger or the first time a visiting former friend had made a cruel comment and she’d sobbed that Jayna had also picked up Jared’s soft heart as well.

“The child is safe, Jensen. You, on the other hand, are not,” Annette Ackles repeated her earlier warning once her grandson had stopping yelling and stalking around his house. “It was Jayna’s Yule wish to meet her father. I simply…altered it slightly. She was in danger had she stayed here.”

“She could be in danger where you sent her, Grams!” Jensen yelled, running his fingers back through his short but wavy dark blond hair in bitter frustration. “He doesn’t know he has a daughter! Jared won’t even remember me or what we had so…damn it!”

Narrowing her eyes to stare at her grandson, the older woman considered things Jensen had said since leaving home and then more recently. “You told your parents you did what you thought best for all of you. Jensen Ross Ackles, how did you break it off with that boy?” she demanded only to frown more as it slowly dawned on her. “Jensen! Did you tell Jared anything or did you just…you tried to cast a spell to make him forget? We all thought you loved him. The way you talk to Jayna about him says you still love him so why in Heaven’s name would you want him to forget you or your time together?”

“I did love him. I still love him, Gram…but he never would’ve understood if I had told him the truth about why I finally chose to give up not only my birthright as Dad’s heir but also my power when I made the choice to leave Liberty,” Jensen knew better than anyone the rules he’d broken when he’d used his powers one final time before leaving everything he’d known and loved behind.

Unlike most people who believed there were no rules or laws in the practice of witchcraft, Jensen knew better. The general and most firmly upheld rule for all witches was that magic should never be used for personal gain and it should never be used to hurt another.

Jensen accepted some witches didn’t always follow those rules and there were some who practiced the darker magic who enjoyed using it to hurt others or sold their magic to others to use for revenge. He didn’t believe in those things and still hated himself for what he had done but six years ago in Jensen’s mind the need to leave; to protect his baby as well as Jared had seemed more important than anything else.

“I had to leave, Gram,” he finally spoke but kept his back to his grandmother because he knew by now Annette’s sharp disapproving gaze would be glaring at him. “The reasons I gave Mom and Dad were true. I wanted my own life. I wanted to be able to live somewhere without people looking at me like everyone did growing up. I wanted to make a life, a career doing what I wanted and not what was expected of me as the oldest son.” Jensen paused and reached up to touch the amulet he wore much like his daughter would do.

“Those were my reasons but…there were others; things that I considered important enough to cast the memory spell and make Jared forget me,” he closed his eyes to stop the sudden burning he felt. “I know it was wrong. I know that I cheated him out of sharing in the joy that is our daughter but…”

“The cretin who hunts you now threatened you then and you didn’t think your family would want to know this?” Annette understood Jensen was proud and stubborn but she couldn’t see the boy running from a threat considering his parents had spent many times complaining to her that he was too quick to use his fists rather than step back from a possible altercation when it suddenly hit her. “It wasn’t you he threatened.”

“Please, Gram, be serious. If he had just threatened me I wouldn’t have given a damn. I would’ve stuck it out and faced what came but he threatened Jared and I knew he’d do what he promised if I didn’t break it off,” Jensen turned slowly to see her frown, unsure if it was disapproval or disappointment. “Ben Padalecki was and probably still is the kind of hunter we warn young witches to avoid. He hates all witches even more than most hunters do.

“He hurt Jay just because he announced he loved me. When he began talking about leaving town with me or leaving the family business for college and a real life with me was when Ben’s behavior began to get scary dangerous but the first time he approached me to tell me in very vivid detail what he was planning to do to Jared if I didn’t leave him was when I knew what I had to do,” he shook his head as he could still hear the hate, the vehemence in the other man’s voice.

“I knew I was pregnant. I longed to tell Jay. I wanted to tell him about the baby more than anything but the night I was going to try to put off Ben’s threats as bluster and talk and show Jared the sonogram…he came to my door with a busted arm, a split lip and blood in his eye after Ben beat the crap out of him again,” Jensen still recalled how helpless he’d felt as he’d held his lover while Jared tried to explain why telling his parents wouldn’t help and might make it worse for them. “He worried about me without knowing that he was the one in danger so…the next night I made sure to stay at his apartment and once he was asleep I healed him, kissed him one last time and then cast the spell that would take all memory of me away from him so he could be safe.”

The pain of what he’d lost that night, of what he’d given up so both his baby and her father would be safe from harm still ached inside Jensen’s heart but he still believed he’d done the right thing.

Even now, even being told that the very damn hunter who had caused him to break his own oath and use his power on the man he loved was tracking him didn’t bother Jensen as much as the thought of Ben learning about Jayna or possibly hurting Jared did.

“Oh, Jensen,” Annette heard the guilt as well as loss in her grandson’s normally deep, husky voice and vowed to kick her own son’s ass for lying to her about telling Jensen what had happened the day after he’d left Liberty and his life behind. “My dear sweet boy, I thought you knew. Your father said they had told you but you still chose to stay away.”

“Told me what? What was Dad or Mom supposed to have told me?” Jensen demanded as he started to turn to face his grandmother only to stop, short hairs on the back of his neck standing as he could almost feel a sense of darkness, a heaviness coming closer. “You need to go, Grams,” he said grimly. “If this is Ben, if he has tracked me down then I’ll be thankful you sent Jayna away and silently hope Jared doesn’t freak out too much until _you_ call and explain to him who and what she is to him. I’ll take care of this myself.”

“Jensen, there will be no reasoning or appeasing this man. He has only one thing on his mind, the same thing that he has had on it for six years. He wants to kill you,” Annette remarked, going to reach out to touch Jensen only to frown. “Jensen, if you try to confront him, if you stay here you will die,” she warned grimly but could feel the spell that brought her to the house that night beginning to wane. “Jensen, leave! Do not…Jensen!”

He might not have used his magic since leaving home but Jensen knew that didn’t make him fully vulnerable as he watched his grandmother’s form fade slowly with that last dire warning. “Sorry, Gram, but if he’s coming here to kill me then it’ll just be me he kills.”

Jensen wondered just what his grandmother had meant about his parents not telling him something but just as quickly decided it wasn’t important right then as he felt that dark energy, what he could now recognize as pure hate and malice, getting closer and knew he had limited time to do what he had to.

The house outside of Porter’s Valley, New York might look like a typical old fashioned Colonial house which is what it was and how Jensen had kept it and he might have refused to allow any spells or magic to enter his home but that didn’t mean that he’d left it totally defenseless in certain ways.

Jayna’s room had been the single room in this house that Jensen had cast any magic on or around when he moved in as he’d been determined to keep his infant safe from anything that might harm either her or her dreams so as he checked now he could tell it would stay hidden from the man whose hate was so great that Jensen could feel it getting more intense.

Relieved that Ben Padalecki wouldn’t be able to see the little girl’s room for what it was or even go close to it, Jensen grabbed for his cell phone to make a fast text to the two people he hoped would understand his actions and keep their promise to always look after Jayna if anything ever happened to him.

Jensen knew he couldn’t go into deep detail so with fingers that had now started to shake, he hurriedly typed out a message while wishing he could send one to Jared to at least explain things and apologize.

_‘Listen. Don’t have time to explain. Jayna’s with Jared wherever he is thanks to a spell of Gram’s. Locate him, go or call but explain to him the things I said happened. I…I might be in trouble so I can’t do it myself. If he wants, if he understands and wants to keep her if I don’t make it out of this then let her. Make it known that it’s in my will that she’s to be left with Jared if he chooses to take her. Can’t explain more now. Out of time. Call Gram.’_

Dropping the phone in a drawer, Jensen looked around and with a wave of his hand made any photo of him and Jayna as well as anything that made it look like a child lived there disappear. He would face the hunter and whatever had caused him to seek him out but he would not allow him to know about the child he and Jared shared.

Walking to the front door, Jensen took a deep breath before jerking open the door and stepping out onto the front porch, blinking his eyes as the cold December air burned them but even though he only saw his car in the driveway he still felt the danger.

Not bothering with a jacket or hat, he stepped down the snow covered steps slowly while looking around carefully but not seeing the threat he knew was close.

The house had outside motion lights but nothing had triggered them except for him movements. Jensen knew hunters, or highly trained ones like the Padalecki’s had been, would know how to hide themselves from either a witch’s power or more common things like motion lights so it didn’t surprise Jensen that he wasn’t seeing signs of anyone yet.

“It’s been six years since you made your pitch and then proved your point. It’s been six damn years since I did the only thing I could do to keep your brother safe from you. I left him. I left and made sure the last spell I casted was to make Jared forget me and what we had.” Jensen raised his voice to carry on the cold air, eyes moving even as he did, stepping to the side of the house toward the back and not caring about the foot of snow he was walking in right then.

“You hated me, hated that Jared had fallen in love with me. I never figured out if it pissed you off that your brother was gay or that he’d fallen in love with a witch. Which was it, Ben?” he asked, raising his voice more when it seemed like the wind picked up and Jensen began to feel the cold more, regretting his decision to not grab his damn coat when suddenly an image flashed in his head that froze him where he stood.

Jensen had cautiously tried a searching spell in his head in hopes of at least pinning down where the hunter might be. He knew his magic was weak after not using it in six years so he hadn’t been expecting much from it. He also wasn’t expecting the wall of emotion as well as image and sound that hit him of blood covering the snow, voices shouting at each other and then gunshots as his baby screamed for him and…

“Jared,” he whispered, fingers clenching as he caught a sight in his mind of eyes that he still saw in his dreams but before Jensen could either bring the image in clearer or shake it from his mind to focus on the danger that he now knew was closing in he heard the sound of a gun firing a second before he was knocked forward and searing agony shot thru his back.

“Little brother can’t save you, witch. No one will save you and tonight I’ll do what I should’ve the day I realized how badly you’d screwed his head up,” the deep, angry voice spoke from behind him but Jensen couldn’t make his upper body move to even try to look when something hard struck him in the temple; consciousness starting to fail. “Before I do to you what I did to all those other witches in my hunt for you though, I’ll make damn certain you bleed for Jared’s betrayal of his family.”

Jensen had a brief second to wonder what the hell the crazy bastard was saying when the last thing he heard Ben Padalecki say filled him with terror.

“I want to hear you scream, Ackles. I want to record every sound you make as you die so when I go to kill him, Jared can listen to it before he dies!”

The threat to him was one thing but even as things began to go dark Jensen’s thoughts went out to the man he hoped would protect their daughter and who he realized he not only still loved but would also still try to protect. ‘ _Jared…_ ’

\-----

“Jared?”

“Jared! Dude!”

“Mr. Beardy Man? Why did Daddy fall on the floor like that?”

“Damn it! Gen, get this kid out of here until I figure out what the hell is wrong with Padalecki and someone get me a huge damn jar because if I have to put coins in every time I curse so do the rest of you! Jared!”

Jared Padalecki could hear every voice currently in Jeffrey Dean Morgan’s office. In fact he heard them so well that he would’ve begged them to shut the hell up until the sharp, stabbing, searing agony that had hit in his back and then quickly spread throughout his body eased back to only sharp and stabbing but couldn’t seem to make his voice work to form words.

The last thing Jared recalled was hearing his sister inform him that not only was their brother the serial killer that Jared and his partner had been searching the last six months for but that he’d killed all his other victims as a way to locate one single man; a man that Jared had known, had loved, and also apparently shared a six year old daughter with.

The last time Jared had seen Jensen Ackles had been the last night they’d spent together. Jared was two years younger, born to a family of hunters and madly in love with a witch so those things on top of being gay had not made things easy for him with his family, especially his oldest brother.

Ben had just beat the crap out of him a few days earlier so Jared had been more than firm on his decision to leave town with Jensen so they could start a life together even though his boyfriend had tried to tell him that would cause too much trouble for Jared.

“‘ _I love you. You love me. You want a life outside of being a witch. I want one outside of being a hunter. Leaving this place, going away together just makes sense, Jen_.’” he said that night as they had lain in Jared’s bed just touching one another and kissing. “‘ _You’re willing to take the wrath of your family by turning your back on not only your heritage but the town they founded. I’m just as willing to face the wrath of my own if it means making a life with you_. _I love you, Jensen._ ’”

“‘ _And you know I love you too, Jay, but Ben’s threats are getting more and more physical. He’s hurt you twice now because you love me. I want to be with you, to have you come with me but I’m just worried about what will happen to you if you do this,_ ’” Jensen’s eyes were sad looking as he lifted his head from where he’d been peppering Jared’s bruised stomach from his brother’s latest assault with soft kisses. “‘ _I hate to see you hurt because you’re with me, Jared. If he threatened me, that I could handle but he threatens you and if a witch would ever attack a hunter, even after he’s hurt you…’_ ”

“‘ _That would ignite a war between the witches in Liberty and not only my family but any hunter because they would see it as an attack rather than you defending me,_ ’” Jared knew that. He’d known that from the first time he was jumped in school and Jensen defended him; his brother had said if a witch ever attacked a normal person or a hunter even to defend someone that he’d see the witch dead. “‘ _I don’t want Ben threatening or hurting you, Jensen. That’s why if we both leave, go somewhere they won’t think to look we can be together and be happy_.’”

Jared’s memories of that moment were now crystal clear as he recalled how quiet Jensen had gotten before they spent the rest of the night making love with one another.

Normally Jared bottomed because he understood Jensen was more of a natural top in their relationship even though the month before on Jared’s birthday his boyfriend had surprised him by giving control to a nervous Jared. That night control had gone back and forth with both young men getting the other off until finally Jared fell to sleep in Jensen’s arms with the man’s deep, husky voice whispering against his ear that he’d always love him…and to forgive him.

Waking up alone had confused Jared because normally Jensen never left until he was awake and they’d either showered together or ate breakfast together. The moment Jared noticed that his apartment didn’t show any signs of his boyfriend, he’d started to feel odd. A call to Jensen’s disconnected phone made him worry but when he went to Jensen’s apartment only to find it like the man had never lived there and it was like Jensen himself, his and Jared’s relationship had never even been that the hunter inside Jared realized what must have happened; if not fully why.

To this day Jared still didn’t understand why Jensen had not only left him but had casted or tried to cast a spell to make Jared forget him. Now as the pain he’d been hit with slowly began to subside and he could hear Jayna’s voice calling for him, her little fingers trying to touch his face despite Gen’s best attempts to move the child out of the office it began to click and Jared wasn’t sure if you should be angry or hurt.

Now things said by Mr. and Mrs. Ackles the day a furious and hurt Jared showed up on their door to demand answers about their son’s whereabouts or reasons for what he’d tried to do to make him forget made more sense.

It had been plain that Jensen’s parents didn’t know right then where their son had gone when he cleared out his life and left Liberty but what had been said now clued Jared in on his boyfriend’s reasons as well as what he could now, memories coming back more with either Jayna’s arrival or the pain he was in, recalled Jensen whispering to him.

“‘ _I will love you until I take my last breath, Jared Tristan Padalecki. What I have to do now will hurt me far more than it will you, but to keep you safe from Ben’s hate…to keep the life we created safe from him, I have to do this, Jay. When you wake up, you’ll feel no pain from these wounds he gave you and because I will break my own oath about casting spells on those I love, you will forget me so your heart won’t hurt._

 _“‘You’re a brave, smart, loving man and any man or even a woman will be graced to know and love you. I’m sorry that I won’t be the one to wake up to your smiling face every morning. I’m sorry that to protect you and our baby that I have to do this. If the spell fades over time, or if something ever happens to me and it goes away…or if Chris ever shows up on your door to explain my actions or about the baby I hope you won’t hate me too much. I hope you can find it in that huge heart to forgive me one day. I love you, Jared. Now, as you sleep, as you listen to my heart this last time…forgive and forget me._ ’”

A rush of pain, emotional and physical, went thru Jared’s chest even as he swore he not only heard his own heart beating in his ears but other sounds; gunshots, a cry of pain and then his name as if someone…no, not someone, and Jared knew what was happening.

“Jensen!” he heard his own voice, hoarse and ragged, shout the name of the man he still loved even if he hadn’t let himself think that since he walked away from his family and a life that he fully blamed for ruining any chance at happiness he might have had. “ _Son of a goddamn fucking bitch_! I will put my hand so far down my bastard brother’s throat and rip what so-called heart he might have out before I…damn it!”

Digging into his back pocket for a $50, Chad slipped it into a wide-eyed Jayna’s hand before scooping the little girl up to sit her on his lap as he sat on the edge of desk so they could both watch Jared slowly calm down while battling whatever had hit him a moment ago. “Kiddo, your college tuition is going to be paid for even before we get you back to wherever you live,” he said and just fully fell in love with the bright eyed child when she gave him a solemn nod much like Jared was prone to do when being serious. “Jaybird! You okay yet or should my new niece and I go find the candy machine and…”

“You…you are not…feeding my kid junk food, Murray,” Jared got out past gritted teeth, fingers digging into his palms as he struggled to get to his knees while seeing a flash of brilliant red on bright white and getting a sick feeling he knew what was happening but not the how or why. “Tell…tell me where he is, Brenna,” he growled into his phone once he could pick it up, slightly surprised that his sister had waited for him. “If he called Mom and Dad then he’d tell them because he’ll expect Dad to praise him or something. Tell me!”

“He didn’t tell them a location. He just told Dad that he’d finally found the witch who ruined you and he’d make him pay…before coming for you,” Brenna Padalecki added the last quietly, grimly. “Jared, Ben’s gone off the deep end before but what he’s done to those others is nothing compared to what he plans to do to Jensen. He blames him for…”

“If it’s anyone’s fault that I left home, that I made my own life and walked away from everyone back there it’s Ben’s because he cost me not only the love of the man who gave me the courage to stand up to Dad, to walk away and make my own life but he cost me six years with the daughter Jensen tried to keep safe,” Jared looked down into his own eyes while hearing his sister’s soft gasp and guessing by the sound of something breaking in the background that one of his parents must be close.

“Ben’s hatred cost me six years with my family, with Jensen and our little girl. He won’t cost me anything again, Bren. I will find Ben and I will make damn certain that he doesn’t hurt Jensen because if he does, I’ll give up my badge but Dad and Mom will be burying a son both literally and figuratively,” he broke the connection and took a shaky breath before looking up into the eyes of his boss and partner. “Okay, so my brother’s a killer and his next victim is Jayna’s father and my ex-boyfriend. Can you grill me about the details after I get back from…” Jared stopped because he still had no clue where to look much less go to help Jensen.

Jeffrey Dean Morgan had been pulling up files on his computer while Jared had been growling into his phone. He’d known from Jared’s background profile he his family was. He’d suspected that growing up in a family of hunters had given the young man the abilities he put into play as a Marshal but he also recognized the other name when he heard it.

“Your brother spent a year behind bars for some bad stuff, Jared,” he pushed a file over but was wary about speaking in front of the child since if what he’d heard was true, if her other father had gone to this much trouble to hide her then the Federal agent had to wonder if she even knew what a witch might be much less about hunters or the danger her other Daddy might be in. “If he’s got a lock on this guy then even if you learned where to go it might be too late.”

“Is…Daddy…going to die?” Jayna had been listening to everything said around her and while she didn’t understand it she could almost sense her other Daddy’s concern as he held her. “Is…that why Great-Grammy said there were shadows coming?”

“No, baby, your Daddy isn’t dying because I’m not letting that happen,” Jared assured her but couldn’t quite hide his own fears as he felt a sharp pain start in his chest but shoved it aside. “Jayna, do you know what town you live in? Or the state?” he asked while Chad moved to the computer to pull up a map when something made Jared freeze, eyes on the map which also had the other victims marked. “Oh my God. I am so damn stupid.”

“Yeah, that’s what I’ve been saying for six years, Padalecki. Now tell me why I shouldn’t take my goddaughter out of your arms and turn you into the giant jackass that I think I should?”

**TBC**


	4. Chapter 4

**The Magic of Christmas**

**Chapter Four**

The moment the deep, gravelly voice spoke from the door Jared Padalecki was torn between rolling his eyes with a groan or just pounding his head in at the exasperation he felt that out of the two people he suspected might still have contact with his ex-boyfriend that it would be this one who showed up.

“Kane,” Jared knew he’s groaned as he said the name but he was frowning as he turned at the low growl offered by Jeffrey Dean Morgan at the same time. “You know him, JD?” he asked his boss with surprise but then decided it wasn’t important and shifted Jayna to his other side as if to prevent the newly arrived man from possibly doing what he’d just spoke of. “What’re you doing here and how much of what’s going on do you know about?” he demanded tightly.

Christian Kane had been a longtime friend on Jensen Ackles since they’d been boys in grade school. They had plenty in common, the least of which was both came from a long line of magic users so Chris was used to the odd, the weird and the danger that could come with magic. He also wasn’t surprised by many of Jensen’s choices the last six years…even if he hadn’t agreed with most of them.

Smirking at a frowning Jared, he gave light touch of two fingers to the brim of the cowboy hat he almost always wore as he nodded to Jeffrey Dean Morgan. “Evenin’, Captain,” he greeted, letting a bit more of his natural drawl show in his voice before winking at a smiling Jayna and glancing at a frowning Chad who’d moved his hand more toward his gun. “Don’t pull that on me, son. I’d hate to have to break a Fed’s arm or turn you into a rabbit in your very own building or in front of the munchkin.”

At 5’9”, Chris knew he was shorter than most people he worked or dealt with but he’d learned long ago how to make up for even a few inches and that rarely included resorting to spell work but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t if he felt the need.

“Don’t threaten my agents, Kane,” JD finally said once he was down growling under his breath about just his lousy luck. “Jared, let Gen take Jayna to the cafeteria for a snack or even a meal while we talk about things little ears don’t need to hear about or before Chad does pull his gun and gets turned into something furry by the cowboy here.”

Jared was still uneasy with letting his newly found daughter out of his sight even with a fellow agent but did accept the reasoning behind the order, if not how the hell JD knew Chris Kane. “Jayna? You go with Gen and let her get you something to eat before we head out to help Daddy, okay?” he could tell by the way his daughter’s grip tightened that she was just as uneasy with leaving him but slowly, with a little coaxing from a calm and smiling Gen and Jared’s pinkie promise to not leave her behind the child went off for a snack.

The moment the door to the office closed, JD was shoving between Jared and Chris who both seemed to have the same idea about confronting the other. “No! There will be none of this crap in my office!” he yelled, shoving one hand against Jared’s chest just as Chad pulled him back a step and using his other against Chris’s as he gave a slightly harder shove. “Kane! Back the hell down or I will throw your ass in a cell again!”

“Who is this guy and how is it that both you and Morgan know him?” Chad was asking while tugging a glaring Jared back a little farther. “Dude! If you plan to help your ex then you’d better settle down and think like the professional I know you can be!” he snapped, hating it when he had to be the serious one.

“Chris Kane. Bounty hunter, monster hunter, ex-spook and occasional witch at your service,” Chris touched his hat again while slowly easing back, body relaxed to show he wasn’t a possible threat but his gaze still held a touch of ice when he met Jared’s eyes. “Jensen sent me and Danneel texts saying that some spell sent Jayna to you and asked us to find where that was so one of us could come here, make sure you weren’t freaking out too badly and…worst case scenario, if anything happens to him to find out if you wanted to keep her and to make that happen.”

“Nothing is happening to Jensen if I can stop it, Kane,” Jared growled, meeting the icy glare fully. “You and I have never liked one another from the moment Jensen first introduced us. You, like his family and other friends, only saw the son of a family of hunters. You never saw anything past that. You never saw what Jensen meant to me. I loved that man and would’ve given up everything for him if he would’ve just trusted me a little more.”

“Oh, he trusted you, kiddo. Jensen trusted you more than he has anyone, including me,” Chris corrected as he leaned on the edge of the desk while pulling a crinkled envelope out of an inner pocket of his jacket, holding it out to Jared.

“Take this, read it when you feel like it. He wrote it when Jayna turned a year old and something happened to scare him. He wanted to explain things to you more than he thought I would or maybe more than you’d give me a chance to,” he smirked as the letter was taken from him, choosing to go on when he noticed the way Jared frowned upon touching the envelope. “As for what I saw in you or thought about you…I saw someone who loved my best friend more than I knew anyone else ever would or even could.

“I knew you loved him, Jared. I knew that from the moment he introduced you to me and Dani,” Chris pushed his Stetson off to run his fingers thru long black hair before finally looking back to see Jared was staring at him. “It wasn’t your love for Jensen that I ever doubted, kid. It was Jensen’s ability to open his own heart up, to let you in fully and let you become the man, the hunter, that we could burning inside you along with your love from him, that we doubted.

“Jensen’s need to protect, to safeguard you from not only his family but your own was what finally pushed him to make the choices he did when he left Liberty and you. Dani and I both wanted to kick his ass for not only leaving like he did but for trying to make you forget him the way he did but I knew in Jensen’s heart he didn’t see any other option that would keep both you and the baby safe.” Chris watched as Jared slipped the envelope away for later and could tell he was slowly calming down enough to drop one more thing on him. “I was there with him that night before he left town when he went to your parents’ door to tell them that they’d won; they’d won and he was leaving.

“I watched his heart break as he told your father to keep Ben the hell away from you because you didn’t do anything to deserve his hate or abuse. I guess by that look that your folks never told you that just like his never mentioned that you’d gone storming to their door the next morning demanding answers and a location,” shaking his head wryly, Chris could already see the sparks that would fly the moment Jared and Jensen met again, assuming his friend survived the threat he could very well be in. “You gonna breathe or pass out? I’m willing to not turn you into a jackass if you’re serious about going to help him…ugh!”

Jared’s fist lashed out quickly, catching Chris square on the jaw. “I’ll deal with my own damn parents not telling me what they should’ve once I’ve dealt with my goddamn brother!” he snapped angrily, fingers wrapping in the front of the flannel shirt the other man wore and not giving a care if he did get turned into something or hurt as he caught a quick glimpse of blue sparks when Chris got over the shock of the unexpected punch.

“You knew I went to Jensen’s house then _you_ could’ve told him! You could’ve told him if you knew I still left home or that his brilliant idea failed! You found me now so that means you could’ve found me anytime in the last six goddamn years that he’s been raising our daughter alone, Kane!” he shouted, ignoring the sharp voice of JD and Chad’s hand that was tugging on his shoulder. “Jensen shouldn’t have had to raise Jayna alone! He shouldn’t have had to be alone…unless…” Jared suddenly drew off as an uneasy thought came to him, making him frown. “Unless he’s not alone and…damn it!”

A flash of power shot up Jared’s fingers, taking him by surprise and forcing him to let go of his grip. The moment that happened he was swearing as he hit the back wall of the office with an equally furious Chris in his face.

“Don’t go there, kiddo!” he warned in a low growl, debating returning the earlier punch but figured if he did either JD would keep his promise to jail him or Jensen would do worse when he learned of it. “Jensen hasn’t dated since he left you. He’s focused on writing books and raising that adorable, but way too much like both of her fathers’, little girl.

“As for why I never told him what I could’ve about you?” Chris smirked a little more as he took a few steps back with his hands raised to show both JD and Chad that he meant no harm. “Jared, if I had, neither one of you would’ve grown up into the men you’ve become. Both you and Jensen needed to get stronger apart before having to be strong for one another together. Understand me?”

Scowling, Jared did understand even if it took him a couple seconds and it didn’t make him any happier but he did understand the reasons behind Chris’s somewhat skewed logic. “Fine, I won’t shoot you,” he muttered with what he knew was probably a sulk in his voice, tossing a glare at Chris before blowing out a breath in a way to try to settle himself as he felt the low burn of pain beginning in his side. “This pain I feel, it’s Jensen’s isn’t it?” he asked tightly but knew the answer even before hearing the low cursing growl that seemed to come from both Chris and JD. “You know where he is?”

“Yeah, but I’m figuring by the way you were looking when I got here that you might have already figured out where he went to raise Jayna,” Chris replied with a shrug, tossing a glare over his shoulder at the not so light slap to the back of his head that JD had just given him but kept silent. “What’s your guess and I’ll tell you how close you are.”

“Jensen always said if he ever moved, if he ever could, that he wanted to move to upper New York. There were little places in the Hudson Valley area that he liked to drive through in the fall and that last year we’d gone thru one that he said was pulling him,” Jared felt like slapping himself for not considering it sooner. “Porter’s Valley was something out of an old novel with old time houses, lots of trees and little ponds with covered bridges.”

“And no decent Wi-fi connection either,” Chris rolled his eyes while still not liking the fact that somehow Jared was feeling pain that could and very probably was coming from Jensen; accepting that if that was the case then time was running out and he might have to pull a rabbit out of his hat or do something he really hated to. “He loves it there and it’s the only home Jayna’s ever known. Now some asshole who has been obsessed with destroying him is going to ruin it all.”

“The hell it will be,” Jared muttered, fingers clenching around something he always carried in his pocket and finally glancing between his boss and then his partner. “Okay, so I know the rules are if an agent might have a personal stake in a case that the agent in question is supposed to step aside or step down as lead agent in charge of the investigation,” he began slowly, brain whirling as he tried to plan not only the best and fastest way to some small New York town but also how to keep Jayna someplace safe.

JD rubbed a hand over his salt and pepper beard slowly, considering what he knew to what he didn’t and finally what he probably didn’t want to know. “Yeah, those are usually the rules,” he agreed with a nod, moving to lean on his desk while also still keeping a close eye on Chris who now seemed to be exchanging wary looks with a glaring Chad. “It seems like you have a couple stakes in this case now if it turns out that your brother is our killer and his next victim is your ex-boyfriend,” he shifted his gaze to see the way Jared’s jaw was clenching. “I should pull you before getting a fix on this place and sending in a team to clean this up.”

Feeling his chest tighten while his stomach dropped, Jared had to fight his basic need to argue furiously because he knew once Jeffrey Dean Morgan made up his mind then there would be no changing it; but he had to try before he went to Plan B.

“JD, I’ve been agent in charge of this case since it was determined that it was a serial killer. I know it goes against the rules given who it might be but…” Jared began in his best agent tone, ignoring the snort that he was fairly certain came from Chris while Chad began to pipe in that their boss couldn’t just boot them off the case. “Even if it is Ben and even if he is going after Jensen, I can still do my job. I can be a professional and…Kane, either help me or get the hell out,” he shot this when the other man couldn’t hold back his sarcasm.

“Yeah, Kane’s mouth hasn’t improved any in the five years since he worked for me but he’s got a point, Jared. There is no way in hell that your emotions won’t be all over the place on this one,” JD said seriously but continued to gaze at Jared intently. “In fact, I think you’re already so worked up into knots about this that I’m shipping you and your crazy ass partner out of here for the rest of the night. I’ll start Googling for the location of this small town and work on getting that strike team up there…oh…by tomorrow night unless I hear anything different,” he paused with a raised brow as Jared started to open his mouth as if to argue that there wasn’t time to wait when both Chris and Chad nudged him to shut up. “Marshall Padalecki, think on what I just said before you open your mouth and I change those orders.”

Jared wasn’t about to think on anything so long as JD was considering actually waiting that long to send a team of agents up to Porter’s Valley when suddenly something Chad was whispering in his ear made him freeze, blink, replay JD’s exact words and swallow thickly. “Yes, Sir. I…see your point and I guess both Chad and I have gotten too close on this one. A night off might be helpful.”

“Oh, I figure it will be given who else you have with you,” JD shot this toward Chris who simply nodded enough to show he understood. “Either leave your daughter with Gen or…”

“No, I promised I wouldn’t leave her behind,” Jared knew he couldn’t take the child near the house until he was certain of the danger but he also couldn’t break a pinkie promise to her either. “Where’s Danneel?” he asked, speaking to Chris after shaking JD’s hand and nodding at his softly added admonishment to watch his damn back and to call in ASAP.

“About an hour from here in Rochester so your agent could drive Jayna to her once you explain to her that she has to go see Auntie Dani until you check on her Daddy,” Chris had already sent the young woman a text to prepare her for possible visitors while deciding he should warn Jared ahead of time. “Oh, and just so you know when you tell her she can’t go with you to help Daddy? This is where you will see the side of Jensen in her because she got his hard head and your stubbornness all rolled into one.”

“Oh boy,” Chad muttered but decided to go sneak some stuff out of supply that he thought they might need and so he could avoid seeing the little girl cry. “Don’t make my new niece cry her little eyes out, Jared. I might have to shoot you after this is over if you do.”

Jared shot his friend a glare while trying to remember what he’d been taught about being strong and not letting his emotions or his soft heart win out but knew the second Jayne’s eyes lit in childlike happiness at the sight of him and she shot her best dimpled smile that he was screwed.

** 30 Minutes Later: **

“I am a horrible, horrible father,” Jared was repeating as he tried to figure out the GPS on his phone while ignoring how fast they were going on slick snow covered roads as Chad drove and Chris sat calmly in the back of the standard black SUV most government types drove. “Anyone who makes their little girl cry and sob those awful huge tears should be taken out and shot…or whatever the hell Jensen might consider appropriate for making our baby cry like…”

“She pulls those tears on him at least three or four times a month depending on what month it is, how close to her birthday it is or if he’s been distracted writing and she thinks she can make it work,” Chris Kane finally broke in after Jared decided he should be drawn and quartered or something equally medieval. “Kid, Jayna might be six but she’s got those damn puppy dog eyes of yours down to a science. Toss in the crocodile tears she learned by age one could get her whatever she wanted. If you don’t know you’re being played then this is what happens.”

Leaning up, he nudged a tense shoulder with a smile. “For your first time delivering parental orders and then withstanding one of her better tantrums before the tears kicked in, you did really good,” Chris told him, chuckling as he leaned back in the seat after growling about Chad wrecking. “It took Jensen about two years to be able to maintain his poker Dad face in front of her and to fall apart with guilt after she’d gone off to cry and pout. She forgets what it was she’s crying over in about 20 minutes.”

Jared wasn’t sure if he believed any of that but decided to ask Jensen…once things had calmed down and assuming he didn’t get to him before it was too late.

He wasn’t sure how much trouble he might be in or even JD might be in if it got out that his superior had basically let him go off on his own ahead of anything official but as he once again touched what he carried in his pocket Jared decided he’d take suspension or even firing; just so long as he could stop his brother and help the man he still loved.

Glancing down at the GPS, Jared frowned. It said it would take them another 90 minutes to get to Jensen and something inside Jared just seemed to know that that was too long; he almost could tell his friend, the man who had given him their little girl, didn’t have 90 minutes to spare.

“Is there any shorter way to get to there?” he asked this of Chris who seemed to know where they were heading a little better than Jared or Chad. “A real shortcut by car or…a magic one?”

Chris raised an eyebrow in surprise at this question since he knew that while Jared was ‘okay’ with magic, unlike others in his family, he did not care for certain aspects of it and teleportation spells were the one he disliked the most. So to hear him ask what he just had gave Chris all the answers he needed as to the younger man’s feelings for his friend after six years apart.

“Yeah, I might still remember a spell or two that could get you there faster…if that’s something you really want to try,” he said; starting to remind Jared about the one time he tried that and the results when suddenly all three men were looking at the phone in Jared’s hand as it began to ring but only Chris understood the meaning behind the tinny sounding ringtone. “You…still use that?” he asked, stunned not only at hearing the sound of his friend’s voice singing but that Jared still used it.

“Shut up. It’s easier to keep it than figure out how to change ringtones,” Jared shot back but didn’t look up as he’d never been able to lie to Kane and this was his fifth phone since Jensen left him so actually keeping the recording he’d made of Jensen singing, a rare event, was harder than choosing a new one but he hadn’t wanted to lose the recording or the memories it still had for him. “Now who the hell’s calling from a restricted number when no one but five people now should have it?” he demanded and hit the ‘Accept’ button. “Padalecki.”

Expecting to hear the growling voice of JD Morgan or even Gen who’d gotten the job of driving an unhappy Jayna up to where her surrogate aunt, Danneel Harris, lived, he was not expecting to hear the ragged, agonized scream of pain that tore thru his heart even as the next voice chilled his blood.

“Hey, little brother, I have something here that used to belong to you. I thought you’d want to listen in as he bleeds out after I slit his throat before I come do the same to you.”

**TBC**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Promise, it's not going past 6 chapters. The muse decided it liked where this one ended so...yeah, there was a small cliffhanger but I'm going to start fixing things in the next chapter.


	5. Chapter 5

**The Magic of Christmas**

**Chapter Five**

The scream of pain had frozen U.S. Federal Jared Padalecki where he sat. The threat to his former lover’s life snapped him back into focus.

“Get the goddamn hell away from him, Ben! Let Jensen go,” he said in a voice that was much lower, colder and harder than Jared knew was normal for him but as he heard his older brother mocking laugh as well as a much weaker choked off cry of pain triggered a surge of anger unlike any that the agent had felt in many years. “How’d you even get this number?” he demanded in hopes to maybe distract his brother while motioning Chad to get the damn SUV moving again after his partner had pulled off the road and hoping Chris knew what to do without being told.

“Dad gave it to me a few months back in hopes that maybe if I _talked_ with you that we could come to some sort of truce, work out our differences and bring peace back to the family,” Ben Padalecki’s tone was sarcastic, mostly mocking when he spoke to his younger brother. “He’s getting soft, sentimental as he gets old or else he’d remember what I said that day to you; the day you turned your back on not only your family but everything the Padalecki name has stood for, when you chose to walk the hell out on us for this piece of worthless shit!”

A grunt of pain and a low groan told a tensing Jared that his brother had probably just kicked Jensen in the ribs since kicking and beating someone already hurt or unable to defend themselves had always been his brother’s MO. He hadn’t liked it when he couldn’t stop it and he especially didn’t like it now but did vow to put a stop to Ben’s attack before he did take Jensen’s life.

“I didn’t walk out because of Jensen! He’d already left me thanks to you and everyone else who didn’t want us together!” Jared shot back while putting the phone on speaker so he could have both hands free, digging in the bag Chad had brought; pulling a few items out while also checking his own weapon. “You need to stop, Ben! All those people you’ve killed, innocent people just to find Jensen and for what? You hate him and for what? He didn’t do anything to you! Leave Jensen alone and…”

“He didn’t do anything?” Ben spat into the phone as if not believing Jared was stupid enough to believe that. “This is all his fault! Him and all those like him! He bewitched you, cursed you or did something to turn you against your own kind! If it wasn’t for him screwing with your head, screwing you, you not only wouldn’t have left your family duty but you’d never have thought you were gay or…”

“I was gay before I met Jensen and if it’s anyone’s fault I left home, left the family duty it’s you! You, Ben! I didn’t just leave Liberty, leave the family because Jensen walked out on me. I left because I was tired of wondering when the hell you were going to actually kill me or kill someone to get at me!” Jared heard a low voice warning him to be careful, to not say anything to set the obviously unstable man off more than he already was but knew it was far past that point when they all heard a sound that both agents recognized as flesh being torn. “Ben! It’s me you hate! It’s been me you’ve always hated! Leave Jensen alone and come kill me if you have to hurt anyone.”

“Oh, I’ll be coming for you, Jared. Rest assured of that, little brother, but before I do, I’ll finish what I started here with the witch,” Ben promised, tone dropping to one that Jared had heard before…on some of the worst killers he’d faced in his brief career as well as some truly terrifying hunters. “Maybe I’ll cut out his heart and bring it with me when I come pay you a long, overdue visit.”

Jared’s fist clenched tightly but he held back the response that was on his tongue. “Let…let me talk to Jensen, Ben,” he growled, needing this little bit of reassurance. “Prove to me he’s still alive.”

“Why worry about it, Jare? You’re miles away and even if you and your big time Federal buddies could find me, the witch’ll be dead long before you could convince anyone to come after me,” Ben replied. “Besides, he dumped your useless ass six years ago. You say it wasn’t because of him that he still left the family so I’d think you’d be happy if I made him bleed for breaking your heart.”

The sneer in his tone made Jared long to punch his brother’s teeth down his throat but he knew the game he had to play and struggled to play it for as long as possible. “Put the phone where I can hear him, asshole,” he repeated in a voice that was tight with fury.

Jared fought to calm down, a task that was made harder when the sound of what he could guess was Ben’s fist or boot connecting with enough force that it drew a pained groan. “Damn it, Ben! Leave…”

“… …J-Jared…”

The ragged, broken weak voice cut Jared off instantly, his heart slamming into his ribs while a lump formed in his throat. “Jensen,” he murmured and had to be quick to remind himself that he was supposed to be a professional right then and not an ex-boyfriend but it was hard with what he heard spoken next.

“…Hey, babe. You…okay?” Jensen’s usually deep but smooth voice showed the pain the man had to be in by the way it shook as if he was trying to keep the pain inside but still talk.

Jared saw Chad look at him as if confused but Jared understood the question even after six years apart from this man; he knew Jensen wasn’t asking so much about him but their child, only he couldn’t actually bring Jayna up without Ben learning about her. That didn’t affect him as much as the first words had since still hearing those two words, words that Jensen had often used when they’d been apart for a day or more, reminded Jared of how much he had missed hearing Jensen’s voice.

“Yeah, I’m…good,” he returned in hopes of reassuring Jensen that Jayna was safe with him. “You will be too,” he added with more confidence than he truly felt at the moment.

“Huh,” Jensen grunted but knew the truth in his heart even if his head might be willing to believe in the hope he could hear in the quiet drawling voice he’d longed to hear again. “Have…some…doubts on that. It’s a trap.”

“Yep, know that. Now ask me if I care,” Jared heard the shake in a voice that he’d never heard so much as tremble and realized his time was running out when he felt a hand on his shoulder, nodding that he understood. “How close?”

Jensen took his time in replying to what might have seemed like a weird question unless one knew how Jared’s mind had worked before and how he guessed it still worked. “Too close,” he replied after several seconds, telling the younger man that his brother was close. “Stay away.”

“Not happening. This won’t happen,” Jared vowed and meant it. He didn’t plan on allowing his brother to take one more life and he sure as hell didn’t plan to allow Jensen to possibly be that last victim. “How bad?”

Jensen gritted his teeth against the pain he was in. His shoulder was still bleeding but he figured the knife would in his side was probably what would cause him to bleed out; unless his now manically pacing attacker just slit his throat or cut his heart out as promised.

“Bad enough,” he hedged as Jensen wasn’t sure how close Jared might actually be and he worried about the younger man barging in to confront Ben only to be hurt himself. He really had accepted his fate and just wanted to know both his daughter and Jared would be safe from harm. “Stay away, Jared,” he said again, gasping when he tried to twist his body to avoid a heavy boot that kicked his bloody side but caused himself more pain in his shoulder as he struggled to hold the phone. “So…long as my family’s…safe, so long as you take care of what you have then…I’m…good.”

Jared could hear the lie in those halting words, understanding the true reason behind them. “Your…folks are safe,” he murmured when he heard a low cough and had to listen harder to hear the next words; unsure if Jensen dropped his voice on purpose or if he was fading from pain and injury.

“I…didn’t mean them…Jay,” Jensen whispered, closing his eyes to avoid the sickening way his vision was blurring when he sensed Ben’s approach and knew he needed to get one more thing out before he lost the chance. “Love her and…argh!”

The scream tore thru Jared’s heart almost as much as Jensen’s last words had. “Ben! Leave him alone!” he yelled, fingers squeezing his phone until he barely heard Chad warning him not to break the thing. “You’ve got my attention! I’ll…”

“It’s not your attention I want, little brother. It’s your death right after I kill this bastard!” Ben had jerked the phone back from Jensen with a thrust of his jagged edged knife into the man’s already bleeding shoulder. “That was all really sweet and touching. He actually sounds like he still might care for you, Jare,” he grabbed a handful of Jensen’s short hair to jerk his head back, seeing glassy eyes that still managed to glare at him with hate rather than fear. “Think he still does or is it just another lie to try to buy himself some more time before I kill him?”

“You’re not killing him, Ben,” Jared’s tone was hard despite the hammering of his heart against his ribcage, glancing over at Chad before taking a deep breath and glancing over his shoulder at a grim faced Chris Kane; nodding once.

“And who’s gonna stop me?” Ben sneered and gave the blade he’d shoved into Jensen’s shoulder another twist before yanking it out, arm raised with the blade aimed for his victim’s chest.

“I am, you sociopathic son of a bitch.”

The hard and ice-cold voice of his younger brother speaking not from the phone in his hand but from somewhere behind him had Ben Padalecki half turning, bloody knife in one hand while reaching for the handgun that was shoved in his belt with the other. “No! No, you won’t stop me!” he screamed wildly and starting to lunge.

The lust for blood, the need for revenge that only he understood either kept the older Padalecki from noticing the 9mm Beretta his younger brother had aimed at him or he just didn’t care by this point; refusing to allow anyone to stop him from killing Jensen Ackles or even Jared himself.

“I’m not sure how you’re here or what you think you can do now that you are because first I’ll disarm you, then I’ll cut your hand off so you’ll learn to never point guns at people who are better than you, and then you can watch as I slit his throat so he bleeds out in front of…” Ben ranted madly, bringing his gun up as if to fire it despite Jared’s sharp commands for him to drop both weapons and surrender.

Jensen wasn’t sure by this point what was happening. He knew he was dying from blood loss before so the added agony of the deeper knife wound in his arm removed any doubts he might’ve still had or even hope of help arriving in time.

He accepted Ben was fully insane and would stop at nothing to make sure he died for whatever the hell he blamed Jensen for; the injured man still wasn’t clear on what that even was and really didn’t care. Jensen knew his child was safe and he prayed that Jared would remain safe from his brother’s madness as he’d caught a glimpse of the knife rising for a final strike into his chest.

For the two hours since Jensen had passed out after being shot originally until right that second, he’d endured the hunter’s mocking, threatening, and promises of a slow and painful death but Jensen had still refused to give in, to show Ben anything but the hate he felt for him.

It had been plain by some of what he’d heard, from what little he’d made himself focus on to understand that despite his best intentions to protect Jared by leaving, by casting that memory erasing spell that his stubborn ex-boyfriend had still left the Padalecki family legacy behind to make a life elsewhere.

He thought he recalled hearing that Jared had gone on to be some type of cop but wasn’t sure about that. All Jensen knew by the time he’d heard that soft drawling voice was he still loved Jared and would do whatever it took to keep Ben away from him and their child.

Hearing Jared’s voice suddenly speaking sharply from the other side of the tossed and vandalized living room brought Jensen’s fading consciousness back enough to force his heavy eyes to open, needing to see what was happening when suddenly the sound of a weapon firing, a grunt of pain after a bullet could be heard striking flesh and then a body hitting the floor had terror overcoming pain.

“No. God…no,” Jensen groaned, clenching his teeth to keep from screaming in pain, frustration, and worry. His body felt like lead, unwilling to move after the shock of the injuries he’d received but yet the fear for Jared possibly being shot by his brother had him fighting back against this. “…J-Jared…damn…Jay…”

“Jen.”

Jared hadn’t wanted to shoot his brother but when Ben’s gun raised and the intent became clear that he did want to kill both him and then Jensen the choice was made so he made it.

A piece of Jared told him that he should’ve taken the kill shot but the Fed in him took the other option and fired a shot that grazed Ben enough that Jared was able to disarm his brother of both weapons before knocking him out and then bolting across the living room to drop to his knees next to a barely conscious but still struggling Jensen.

Hearing Jensen trying to say his name while fighting to move as if to help him had Jared moving quickly to try and reassure the injured man that he hadn’t been the one shot and that the danger was over.

There was a strong of things running through Jared’s head right then as he knelt down, catching a weakly moving hand while lightly placing his other on the side of Jensen’s pale face.

Jared knew the standard line to give a victim to reassure them that they were safe but even as he considered one of those his heart seemed to know the exact thing to say when Jared heard himself say the nickname that only he had ever been allowed to use for his ex-boyfriend.

He immediately felt the change in Jensen at the sound of his voice as well as with his touch. Jared felt him start to relax more a second before glassy green eyes slowly focused on his own and weak fingers closed around his.

“Hey,” he murmured softly, voice thick with emotions that Jared struggled to bury for the moment but just being this close to the man who had once meant so much to him, someone who still did mean so much, it was hard to not revert back to the sometimes quiet teenager he so often felt like when with Jensen. “It’s over, Jen. It’s all over and…I’m here. I’ve got you.”

Jensen made himself ignore the pain and shock he was in to focus more on the handsome, broad shouldered man kneeling beside him quietly repeating things that Jensen could recall saying to a beat-up Jared years ago. “Hey yourself,” he whispered after managing to swallow thickly, tongue not wanting to work but making it while also lifting his other hand to let it rest on Jared’s face. “I…know. Never…doubted it. Stay?”

“Always,” Jared promised as he broke eye contact just so he could turn his face into Jensen’s palm, lips touching it softly. “Help’s on the way. You’re gonna be fine.”

A single look told Jared that Jensen was hurt and needed more than his simple skills in emergency medical treatment. He saw the blood that had soaked thru the man’s t-shirt in multiple places along with deep bruises on his face, arms and neck and could guess his side would be a mass of welts from either being punched or kicked by Ben’s attacks.

Jared could hear sirens and guessed Chad, after he’d gotten over the shock of Jared vanishing from the SUV, had called the local authorities to alert them. Now he just needed to hope they got there before either Ben regained consciousness to give him more trouble or the loss of blood caused him to still lose Jensen.

“Jay, I’m…” Jensen started to say only to stop when he was racked with pain and knew it was because now that his body was relaxing because the danger was over for the moment he was feeling it more.

He knew he was hurt and bleeding. Jensen also knew the odds of him still not surviving was high given the amount of blood that he’d lost on top of any internal injuries being savagely kicked might have given him so even as he thought he heard sirens his main focus was making Jared hear what needed to be said. Only Jensen was then shown that Jared hadn’t lost any of his stubbornness and also could still read him without words.

“Don’t apologize for anything, Jensen,” Jared suspected that was what his former lover had been about to attempt; but while he still wasn’t thrilled with Jensen’s actions six years earlier and knew they’d have to talk about them, Jared also understood the reason behind them.

“We’ll talk about everything as soon as you’re better or stronger…or at least looking at me with clear eyes,” he added, hearing the sounds of sirens now pulling up as well as doors slamming and knew he needed to push the Federal Marshal to the surface once again. “Jensen? Two questions before you pass out on me. Do the people in this town know about your powers and do you want me to call anyone for you?” he asked as he tried to still hold Jensen’s hand while also reach into his back pocket for his badge.

“Not…passin’ out on you and…no,” Jensen heard his own voice slur the words so he suspected that he was about to pass out. He could only hope he woke back up as he heard pounding on his door and voices that he recognized as the local cops.

“No to which one?” Jared asked, hearing his phone start to ring just as the front door was thrown open after he shouted to come in. “Dude, I need to know if I’m going to be explaining or ignoring floating things or magically healed wounds once Kane gets his ass here or who to call for…”

Jensen forced his eyes to open once more to stare at a now serious Jared. “No…to both,” he murmured and managed to still hold onto the hand he felt squeezing his, not ready to lose that contact yet. “No one here…knows what I…used to be and…who I’d…want called…is already with…me. Be there?”

“Regardless of who I have to shoot or get my boss to intimidate, I’ll be with you when you wake up, Jensen,” Jared promised, throwing a glance over his shoulder to see if any of the cops or EMTs had made it to the living room yet.

Seeing that they were still alone except for the unconscious Ben Padalecki, Jared took a huge leap by following what his heart said to do and leaned down to lightly brush his lips over Jensen’s cheek in a quick kiss before pulling back just as he heard guns cocking and hard voices ordering him to step away. “I’ll be with you,” he whispered, seeing Jensen’s lips curve up a little before the pain finally caused the man to black out.

Jared ignored the sudden influx of people storming the living room to focus on Jensen as he kept his hand held tightly in his while feeling for his pulse before slowly, carefully turning just enough to show the armed Sheriff’s Deputies of Porter’s Valley his badge.

“Federal Marshal Jared Padalecki. I’m the good guy here but my 9mm is on the floor if you want to bag it for evidence since it will match the slug that I put in the bleeding, unconscious asshole that was trying to kill Jensen. The other knife and gun were his and will match the wounds on Jensen,” he said in his best Fed tone of voice while eyeing the gruff looking older man who seemed to be in charge.

“You can cuff him and keep a cop at the ER with him until my partner or my boss gets here to pull Federal rank since he’s also a suspect in a string of murders recently but if you or anyone tries to make me leave Jensen? I’ll make someone bleed…just so you know,” Jared added calmly but his eyes were hard, tone firm.

Sheriff Jim Beaver eyed the broad shouldered man he’d been warned would be there when he’d gotten the first call about what was happening out at the Ackles’ place outside of town.

He’d been told a suspected serial killer with on obsessive need for some kind of vengeance had tracked Jensen, who Jim and most of the town knew to simply be a single father and a well renowned author, down with plans to make him the next victim and one of the Fed’s own would be there when they got on scene.

Porter’s Valley was a small place so Beaver and his three local Deputies usually only dealt with typical crime or the odd moronic tourist; serial killers were a whole new ballgame and he was only too willing to let the Feds have the reins once more were on scene since a single look also told him that this Fed might be trying to act cool but his main focus was on the unconscious Jensen.

“Okay, son, we’ll play it your way,” Beaver said, reaching for his set of cuffs to secure the suspect. “Mind if the paramedics take a look at him so we can get him help?” he asked casually, figuring Jared probably wasn’t even aware that he’d just growled at a backpedaling EMT who’d gone to reach for the hand he still held.

“Agent, aside from that first call from what I’m guessing would be your hyper-active partner, I also got a call from an Agent Morgan who after assuring me that all of this is legit, was kind enough to tell me that I could knock your ass unconscious if I felt a need to,” Beaver said while ordering his men to drag Ben out to a car since he sure wasn’t transporting him in the same ambulance as the actual victim. “Now are you going to make me have a need to?”

Jared frowned slightly until it must have dawned on him what he was doing and with a huge effort he did slowly let go of Jensen’s hand to slowly stand up; not moving too far away as several efficient paramedics began to access the various injuries along with how best to treat them for the moment.

“So long as I can stay with him, so long as your people don’t let that bastard escape custody and I don’t feel the need to shoot someone then no, I don’t guess I will,” he replied with a shrug and met the eyes of the older man. “Did my boss tell you anything else?” Jared asked curiously, unsure how much of what JD knew or how much he might share with the local cops.

“He told me about your case of murders being connected with the guy my Deputies just dragged out of here and how he had a team on the way up to back you and your partner up,” Beaver watched as Jared stayed out of the way but also stayed close until they had Jensen secured on a stretcher and only then did he step closer to touch a tense hand. “He also said that yo-yo in cuffs is your older brother and you have a past with Jensen that explains why you have the same eyes as that adorable little girl he has. Are you here officially or should I forget that I’ve seen you?” he asked but had a strong hunch he already knew the answer the moment he watched Jensen unconsciously slip his fingers into the hand that automatically meshed with his. “Huh, okay then. Let’s get you boys to the local ER and then I’ll personally guard the nut until the rest of your team gets here.”

Jared figured his ‘team’ would be an agitated Chad and a ticked off Chris but would welcome them since he didn’t plan on being that far away from Jensen until he was told the man’s condition was stable. Then Jared would worry about how to precede, what to say, what to do to hopefully see if he and Jensen still might be able to make something work between them if only for their daughter’s sake.

Five hours later found Jared pacing the floor of a waiting room and fighting not to snarl too much as Chris Kane, who had arrived with Chad shortly after the ambulance had gotten to the hospital, was working as a go between for the staff and a very on edge Federal Marshal.

“Dude! You tried to punch a doctor! No, they’re not going to let you back there until they have him stabilized!” Chad had said once he learned what had caused the uproar and had quickly worked to reassure the nervous staff that his partner was just worried about a friend. “Sit, stew, call your kid. JD’s on his way in with a team and the staff’s been told to get you the moment they know anything. Oh…and don’t disappear on me again!” he added before leaving to go check on their prisoner.

Chad hadn’t been thrilled when his partner had just vanished from the front seat of the SUV. He’d been less thrilled that he’d gotten stuck with Kane, who he didn’t like and who didn’t care for him, but had decided to just roll with everyone once he got to the hospital and saw the state Jared had been in.

“He said not to call anyone, but shouldn’t his parents know or…someone?” Jared asked again while looking at something in his hand that a nurse had given him before banishing him to the waiting room.

“Annette probably already called his folks if she suspected he was in danger,” Chris replied but didn’t bother to look up from where he was trying to decipher hospital forms since he knew more about Jensen’s recent health than Jared would. “They won’t come however unless he calls…or you do since Jensen’s kept limited contact with his family after some of them didn’t approve of his choices. What did he say about contacting anyone?” he asked casually but suspected the answer even before Jared spoke.

“He said…the person he’d want was already with him,” Jared closed his hand over the amulet Jensen wore, the amulet that he’d given his boyfriend years ago, and felt a warmth in it that surprised him.

Chris sat back in the small hard plastic chair to offer a slow smile. “And that should answer any questions or fears you have, kid. You’re still who Jensen wants with him or else he would’ve told you to call me or Dani. He gave you the key to a door that he locked six years ago, Jared. Don’t blow it or else I will have to turn you into something furry,” he said, nodding to the door just as a nurse stuck her head in. “Go see him. I’ll go see if your pal or the cops need ‘help’ with the jackass.”

Stunned at what Chris was saying, Jared wasn’t sure it would be that simple but would give his friend time to recover from this before finding out. Right then, he just wanted to be sure Ben’s attack hadn’t hurt Jensen seriously or if it had that the man would recover.

Most of what the young nurse was saying went right over his head so Jared made a note to find someone later to explain all the medical jargon to him in English. Nodding to one of the paramedic’s who’d been in the ambulance and was still in the hall, Jared stepped into the private ICU room and had to stop just inside the door to steady his suddenly shaking hands.

The smell of hospitals had always bothered Jared. He hated the sharp antiseptic smell that burned his nose almost as much as he hated the quiet cold rooms. ICU rooms were worse because they were filled with machines that reminded Jared of how badly his damn brother had hurt Jensen.

“Jensen,” he whispered, moving to stand at the side of the bed to look down at the pale, bruised man sleeping under the effects of drugs and pain killers and Jared wished he had taken that killing shot earlier.

Jared recalled the doctors saying that Jensen had been shot once but cut multiple times so he’d suffered from severe blood loss. He noticed the immobilized right arm so guessed that had been the shoulder where the bullet had struck but also noticed the swelling of his hand and figured Ben had tried to damage it as well.

“Jen? I know you probably won’t hear me but in case you can, you’re safe in the hospital now,” Jared began softly as if worried his voice might make Jensen’s head hurt more since he noticed the wrapping around it and knew the man had a concussion as well along with multiple bruises, fractured and cracked ribs. “I think the doctors say you’ll be fine in a couple weeks but you can probably go home in a day or so…if you have someone who can stay with you to take care of you and Jayna.”

Jared slipped the amulet back into Jensen’s left hand, closing his fingers around it as well as the item he removed from his own pocket. He left his hand over the closed fist while trying to swallow the sudden lump. “I can never apologize enough for Ben hurting you and I know there are things we need to talk about but I…I hope we can. I hope…if we talk about things, if I promise that I’m not too mad at you for what you did that you’ll maybe give me another chance.

“I want a chance to make it work, Jen. I want a chance to know our little girl. I know that won’t be popular with people but if you say we can talk then…huh? Jensen?” Jared hadn’t realized he’d started to ramble until suddenly he felt the hand under his move weakly, jerking his head up and freezing the moment he saw glassy green eyes struggling to stay open and look at him. “Hey, don’t try to wake up yet,” he quickly said while moving his other hand up to touch a bruised cheek. “You need to sleep all of this off. I’m sorry I woke you up and I’ll just go so you can…Jensen?”

Consciousness was not his friend. Jensen knew this and knew the time he had before drifting back under again would be brief but would make the most of it if possible.

He’d been floating between sleep and awake, body just on the side of no pain, when Jensen heard the rawness in Jared’s soft voice, heard the guilt as well as the shake and knew he needed to surface just a little to head off what he knew from years ago could be a bad thing if he couldn’t calm Jared down some.

Jensen felt the items in his hand; recognizing not only his own amulet but the shape of the other item. Fighting to turn his hand enough to capture Jared’s, he felt strong fingers wrapping around his the second Jared saw that he was waking up but then felt him start to ease away and managed to make his fingers close.

“… …Stay,” he managed to get out past a thick tongue and dry lips. “You…stay.”

Jared fought the urge to sob with relief; pleased that not only was Jensen alert but that he also seemed to want him to stay. “Yeah, I’ll stay while you sleep and then we can talk about who you want…dude, you’re barely conscious and you’re giving me that look?” he almost laughed when he noticed the narrowed eyed look that told him if Jensen was more alert that he’d be slapping him upside the head. “What?”

“…You…stay with us.” Jensen felt sleep pulling at him but needed to make Jared understand what he was saying before he did. “You…Jay. I…only want…you. Take…take me…home?” he asked and was drifting back under thanks to the drugs but still heard the soft watery laugh before feeling warm lips touch his face.

“Yeah, I’ll take you home, Jensen. I’ll take you home and our little girl will be there before Christmas,” Jared promised, eyes wet with tears that he wasn’t sure came from relief that Jensen was alright or that dreams he feared had been lost might still have a chance.

Once he was certain Jensen was sleeping again, Jared eased his phone out of his pocket and dialed a number. He heard it ring a couple times before it was picked up by a sulky but hopeful little voice.

“Hey, baby girl,” he smiled at the feeling it gave him to say that and hear Jayna’s little squeal of delight that he’d called. “I just wanted to tell you that I got your Daddy. He’s safe and you’ll come home soon to see him.”

Jared knew it wouldn’t be smooth sailing. His brother was still alive and he’d have to file reports on what happened and more things than he liked to think about but right then all he was focused on was Jensen, their daughter, and how in the hell he’d pull off a Christmas miracle to get Jensen released in time to spend it at home.

“JD? I…kinda need a favor,” he said into his phone and hoped it all worked out in the end.

**TBC**


	6. Chapter 6

**The Magic of Christmas**

**Chapter Six**

** Christmas Eve, a few days later: **

“Santa needs cookies and his reindeer need carrots! Daddy! I don’t think that should be smoking…”

“Oh holy shit!”

“Daddy, Uncle Chad said I’ll be able to go to medical school if you move in with me and Daddy to live with us. What did he mean and oh holy…”

“If the word comes out of her mouth that I think she’s aiming for I will wash both of your mouths out with soap and Santa won’t be coming to this house for a long time,” Jensen Ackles said as he leaned in the door to his kitchen watching the disaster that was Jared and Jayna attempting to make cookies.

Upon waking up fully in the hospital Jensen discovered that a worried and tired Jared wasn’t any easier to deal with than he had been as a teenager when the first thing he noticed upon prying open his eyes was a slender blond guy trying to stay between Jared and Chris Kane as the two men were exchanging quiet but definitely angry words about Jared getting some sleep.

“I told him I’d stay with him and I’m staying until he wakes up and I can take him home. You need to get outta my face before I remember that you could’ve told him stuff and didn’t!” Jared had snapped while trying to shove Chris back despite Chad managing to shove between them.

“The nurses are afraid to come in here because you snarled at one, Padalecki! Go get some damn sleep before one of them hits you with a damn tranquilizer or I cast a spell and knock your ass out!” Chris yelled only to stop and blow out a breath when he suddenly felt a weak zing go up his arm, knowing what it was and where it had come from. “I only bloodied his lip once. He’s shoved me and hit me harder than that in the face so knock off the damn defending him until you can at least growl at me, Jensen.”

The second Chris tossed that complaint out and something was heard breaking in the bathroom, Jared spun on his heel to see still slightly glassy eyes opening more than they had earlier but they were currently focused on giving Chris a hard look until Jared spoke.

“Jen,” he said it once and felt his heart jump when those green eyes moved to him and locked onto Jared’s eyes and almost immediately Jared knew Jensen was gauging how tired he looked. “Both of you get out now,” Jared said while going to sit in the chair he’d pulled beside the bed only to stop when Jensen’s fingers tapped the bed. “Chad, go do something Federal and Kane, go flirt with a nurse or something.”

Once they were alone, Jared started to wipe the thin line of blood from his mouth before looking at Jensen only to feel gentle fingers reach up and touch the corner of his mouth. “Kane and I still have some issues so…I might’ve popped off too much and…”

“You’re…tired, Jay,” Jensen wondered if his voice sounded as bad as he thought it did; guessing it did when Jared brought a glass of ice water with a straw to his lips and he gratefully sipped from that until his mouth didn’t feel like a desert.

A single look had told Jensen that his ex-boyfriend hadn’t slept much if at all and while some might think Jared was just keeping his promise to stay with him, Jensen had a hunch there was another reason he was staying awake.

“If I promise…to be here…when you wake up, would you try to sleep?” he asked with a grimace of pain as his body began to remind him of the beating he’d taken in addition to the other more serious injuries when he went to shift a little on the bed, careful to not pull any wires or IVs out in the process. “Jared, I’m sorry for what I did back then but…babe, you need to sleep.”

Jared rubbed a hand over his eyes in an attempt to keep them open despite how tired he did feel but there were too many things whirling around in his head that kept him from letting himself sleep.

It was true that a part of it was that he worried if he went to sleep, even for a couple minutes, that he’d wake up alone again but the bigger part was that he knew Ben was still in the hospital and Jared feared that one miscue on the part of the police or even the team of Marshals now there could bring danger to Jensen.

“No, I’m fine. I’ll sleep once they let you out of here,” he said but had some doubts if he could pull that off even before glancing up when he heard a soft chuckle. “What? I can stay awake if I have to.”

After sipping more water, Jensen felt a little better or at least his throat felt better; he felt like crap but had no intention of admitting that yet. “Oh, I know you think you can and you might even be able to. I laughed over the fact that you think you’ll be able to sleep once they let me go home,” he watched as Jared rubbed his eyes again. “Once Jayna gets home, you won’t be sleeping fully for a good week because she’s going to be hyper, worried, and excited. She’s like you there, Jay.”

“Crap,” Jared muttered when that sank in. He knew what he’d been like at six so he understood what Jensen was saying. “I’m worried about sleeping until they officially arrest my brother and move him out of here,” he explained quietly. “I also know we need to talk about things before Jayna’s around but…”

“Your partner is here, there are others here along with Beaver’s cops and Chris. Even if Ben got loose, I don’t think he’d make it up here before someone got him,” Jensen knew Jared’s need to be responsible, to protect was still as strong as what his was but he also knew the younger man needed to sleep or else he wouldn’t be any good to anyone. “We’ll talk soon. You can yell at me for what I did or tried to do…later. Right now, sit down, rest your head, close your eyes and just try to sleep, Jared.”

Jared looked at Jensen for a long moment as if trying to decide which option would be better. He knew he was past the line of exhaustion since he’d already been running on fumes from before so now he knew that if he didn’t get some sleep that he wouldn’t be able to help Jensen or take care of their daughter. But still he hesitated on actually closing his eyes even as he pulled the chair closer to the bed so he could let his head rest on the side near where Jensen’s hand laid.

“Will you go back to sleep so you can get more strength back?” he asked, seeing a corner of Jensen’s mouth quirk up at the same time as his fingers moved to begin to gently over his hair; an act that was both familiar and soothing to both men.

“Yes, I’ll go back to sleep…once you do,” Jensen assured him. He already could feel his body relaxing again, guessing the damn pain drugs must have kicked back in but wouldn’t fight it as he also knew he needed to heal so he could both handle what would come soon and hopefully give their daughter the Christmas wish he suspected she’d have now.

It took another day and a half before the hospital would release Jensen and that was only because JD Morgan had called in huge favors of his own and finally the head doctor was convinced that Jensen would be fine so long as he wasn’t alone.

Ben Padalecki had been arrested on charges that included multiple murders as well as attempted murder and other charges involving his attack on Jensen.

“This isn’t over, Jared! They won’t hold me because these charges won’t stick!” he’d shouted after he was cuffed, read his rights and put in the back of a black SUV with two stern faced feds. “Enjoy your little moment of calm because I will finish this! I will…”

“Oh shut up!” Chad Michael Murray slammed the door on the ranting man, rolling his eyes. “Yeah, this’ll be a fun trip back,” he muttered. “So…you going to be okay here or do you want me to dump this asshole on the guys and hang around?” he asked, worried about his partner’s decision to take a few days personal time so he could stay with his ex-boyfriend and their little girl while the man recovered. “Is Mr. Personality staying?”

Jared grinned at this question since he’d picked up on the fact that Chad and Chris were still wary about the other one. “He hasn’t said but if so I promise not to annoy him too much,” he replied. “I’ll be fine, Chad. Jensen needs someone with him and Jayna and until you or JD call to tell me that the charges did stick so Ben stays in a cell, I want to be here,” he glanced back at a sudden growl and could see that Chris Kane was not looking happy by something Jensen had just said to him; guessing what that was. “We have stuff to talk about and…I want to get to know my daughter.”

“Call me if you want me to come back or if anything else happens,” Chad ordered in a mock serious tone while hoping his friend didn’t end up hurt over this. “If anything weird or odd happens, don’t be a damn hero and hit 911, dude,” he put in as he clapped Jared on the shoulder before getting behind the wheel of the SUV. “I’ll be in touch.”

Jared watched the SUV pull away and had just been turning to go back inside the hospital to see how the release was going when he blinked as a hard finger poked him in the chest. “I guess you’re leaving too?” he said with as much of a straight face as possible.

“Yeah, he’s still pissed at me and he knows I make you uncomfortable so he’s kicking me out. Dani’s driving up with that Fed to bring Jayna home tomorrow so you’ll have today and tonight and make sure he’s settled and to settle anything that needs to be before she gets home,” Chris said while running a hand through his long black hair before slipping his cowboy hat on.

“I had reasons for not telling him that you went looking for him, Jared. They might not be the same reasons your folks had to not tell you that he went to them before leaving but…despite it all, I do hope now that you two can make it work,” he paused to consider his next words. “Thinks won’t be easy and the danger might not be over but…”

“I’ll protect what’s mine, Kane,” Jared said lowly, understanding the man’s concern as he felt it himself. “No one will hurt either Jensen or Jayna. I’ll see to that.”

Chris was quick to hide his smirk while glancing over Jared’s shoulder to see his friend watching them through the glass doors of the hospital, recalling Jensen’s very similar words to him earlier and wishing he could be around for the fireworks that he was sure would come once these two began to butt heads.

“Hit the panic button if you or he needs help, kid. Don’t be a damn hero and don’t let him be one either,” he added before turning to head to where his truck was now parked. “I have a few loose ends to tie up but I’ll be around if you guys need help or want a babysitter.”

It felt odd once he and Jensen were alone. Jared wasn’t sure how much had changed with his friend or how to find a topic to talk about to break the heavy silence that had existed in the car on the way back to Jensen’s house.

Chris had said that he’d gone by to fix and straighten up things that had been broken or messed up during the attack. Jared suspected that would also mean the man had cleansed the house magically so no sense of the evil Ben had been giving off would remain to bother either Jensen or their child.

Jensen had talked with Jayna on the phone that morning to reassure the child that he was fine and she’d be coming home the next day. He’d inwardly cringed to her happy tale of all her and ‘Aunt Dani and Miss Gen’ had been doing because Jensen knew his friend’s fondness for spoiling his daughter or for stretching the boundaries that he’d been careful to set up.

He’d sensed Jared’s nerves in the car and guessed he shared them considering the odds of Jared being angry about things from before were huge. Stepping into his house Jensen expected to feel something to remind him of the night of the attack but only felt warmth along with the heaviness that was building between the two of them.

Letting Jared carry his single bag as well as bags of groceries in from the car, Jensen slowly eased his still sore and bruised body down onto the sofa; wincing as his shoulder still ached and guessed that was way he’d been instructed to use the sling for at least another few weeks.

The doctors had been amazed as how well he’d recovered and Jensen had bit his tongue while Jared simply rolled his eyes since both knew Jensen’s recovery had been helped slightly by a small healing spell that Chris had casted shortly after Jensen had woken up fully.

Jensen still had some bruises, his arm and shoulder as well as the side where the knife had cut several times were still the worst of his pains but he’d refused to let his friend heal him fully since he hadn’t wanted to explain too much to the hospital staff over his ‘miraculous’ recovery.

“Okay, so the docs gave me a list of things you can do which isn’t nearly as long as the list of things you can’t do,” Jared began once he was finished carrying things inside the house, locking the doors and then triple checked every door and window in the two story home to be sure they were locked and secured. “I also have a list of medicines and times for them as well as foods you should and shouldn’t eat while taking this stuff. My cooking isn’t the greatest but I promise to not poison you or Jayna. I’ll need you to tell me stuff that you’ll need or want or things like her bedtime or any do’s or…”

“I love you.”

Jared’s nerves had been building steadily while he’d been checking the house and making sure Jensen had everything he thought he might need by the bed upstairs in the Master bedroom. By the time he got back to the living room, his stomach was in knots and his heart was pounding as he worked to find a safe way to broach the topic of their past, their break-up and what might be still there between them when just like that Jared felt like his feet had been knocked out from under him.

“Huh?” he knew he probably looked and sounded as stunned as he felt but those were hardly the words Jared expected to hear this soon or at least before they’d had a chance to talk.

Jensen realized from the from the second he’d heard Jared’s voice on the phone that in the six years since they’d last seen one another both he and Jared might’ve grown up, might’ve changed but he’d also picked up on the one way Jared hadn’t changed.

From the moment they’d first met Jared had a tendency to ramble or talk non-stop if he was nervous, worried, or scared. It had been a habit that Jensen had been trying to break his boyfriend of before his choice broke them up.

Jensen had seen hints of that side of Jared peeking thru while in the hospital but the moment he stepped into the living room he realized he’d let Jared’s nerves build to the point where he had to do something to bring the younger man back to Earth so to speak if they had any chance of talking.

Considering his options and recalling there were only a few ways to stop Jared once he got on a roll, Jensen had considered what to say since there was too much space between them both physically and emotionally to allow him to do his first choice.

Several options entered his mind but Jensen decided to go with what was on his heart and said the first thing he thought of and meant it. The second Jared stopped and looked like a shocked deer caught in headlights Jensen knew he had a few seconds to talk, hoping he could convince Jared that he truly did still care.

“I never left because I didn’t love you, Jay. I left that night, I chose to break my own rule and cast the spell to make you forget me, because I wanted to keep you safe from your family,” Jensen went to sit up more on the sofa only to groan when his side pulled and suddenly Jared was sitting beside him. “I loved you. I wanted to be with you and God, I wanted to tell you about the baby but…then Ben hurt you again and I knew that if you left town with me what would happen.

“Your other family barely tolerated our relationship while Ben’s hate was growing in ways that I knew would end in someone being hurt badly or dead,” he shifted slowly until he was sitting facing Jared, the fingers of his left hand lightly touching Jared’s face before his hand was taken and held. “I loved you. I wanted you to be there so we could raise our baby together but…”

Jensen had to stop to take a shaky breath as the same emotions he’d faced back then threatened to resurface now. He hated to show any type of emotions but yet Jared had always been able to bring them out easier in him. “I got scared, Jared,” he admitted quietly, going on quickly before he lost the nerve and glad that Jared was sitting quietly for the moment. “I wasn’t sure if Ben came at you again or if he learned about the baby if I could protect both of you. I didn’t care about my own life because I faced that danger the first time I told you that I loved you…but I had to be able to keep you and our baby safe.

“I know the way I did it was cowardly. I knew it when I was doing it but I also knew that you would never have understood the danger you were in. I also knew to protect our child that I couldn’t stay in Liberty because neither of our families would have accepted that news so to protect you both, to hopefully give you the life I wanted you to have…I did something that I hated myself for,” Jensen slowly lifted his eyes up to see that Jared was watching him and for the first time in years found that he couldn’t read the man.

“I didn’t want you to hurt, Jay. I knew waking up alone, finding me gone would hurt you or make you think you’d done something wrong which was so not the case but if I had told you that I was pregnant…” he paused to try to find the right words but understood that nothing he said now would give Jared back the last six years with their daughter. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I did what I did and that you had to find out about Jayna like this. I’m sorry that you’re probably angry with me and I don’t blame you for…”

A light finger touched Jensen’s lips, stilling his sudden rushed need to apologize, to explain, to convince Jared that while his intentions had been just that he understood his errors.

“Am I thrilled that you thought it best to make me forget you and what we had as a way to ‘protect’ me from Ben? No, I’m not,” Jared had been watching Jensen’s face, listening to his voice as he tried to explain and now to apologize; hearing the change in tone, the slight break and knew this was as close to Jensen’s own emotional walls breaking as he wanted to let happen.

Bringing the hand he held up to his lips in a way much like Jensen used to do with him, Jared could tell the moment he had his ex-lover’s full attention. “Am I happy that you took the responsibility to protect not only me but our daughter onto your own shoulders and have lived with that burden for the last six years? Nope, not even close. I was hurt. I was angry. Maybe up until the other night I still was,” he said but shook his head to stop Jensen from speaking yet, pressing a soft kiss against the palm of his hand and felt the way Jensen’s pulse jumped.

“Yeah, I’m still a little pissed because even though maybe Kane was right and we both needed to grow up so we could get stronger for each other, that doesn’t mean that I’d ever want you to sacrifice anything just to protect me,” Jared thought he would still be upset but found that while he regretted losing the time with Jensen and Jayna that he couldn’t fault Jensen for just wanting to keep those he loved safe.

“I might not have chosen the life I did had I known about the baby or had I been given the option to leave town with you. Maybe this was the life I needed to have up to this point. Now…now maybe it’s time I look into finding a new life or one where I don’t get shot at so much…if you meant what you just said and you still love me,” he held his breath on this, afraid he might be pushing them both too fast.

Jensen had been trying to split his attention between listening to Jared and watching him press slow, soft kisses against his palm when he blinked as he realized what Jared had said, was saying about changing his life, his career and felt his throat tighten with raw emotion.

“Yes, I meant it. Yes, I still love you, Jared,” he replied, reluctantly taking his hand back because he wanted to brush too long hair back out of glistening hazel eyes that seemed to have more gold showing right then; fingers stroking over the light five o’clock shadow on Jared’s jaw. “Can you forgive me for what I did?” he asked hesitantly. “Can you ever forgive me enough to love me back?”

“Jen, I never stopped loving you,” Jared reassured him, body responding to Jensen’s touch like it always had and he had to be quick to remind himself to take it slow. “Yeah, we’ll probably fight more than we did since we have both changed. I’m not the same as I was six years ago. I…I just want a chance for us to start new. I want to be a good father to Jayna. I…I want…” he stopped when deep green eyes suddenly shot up to his with a heat that Jared recognized.

“What do you want, Jared?” Jensen asked, voice dropping to the low husky one that had managed to turn a 16 year old Jared’s knees to jelly. “Tell me and if I can give it then I will. I’ll also remind you later that you forgive too damn easily,” he muttered, leaning closer to let his lips lightly trail the same path down Jared’s jaw as his fingers just had.

“Jensen, you wouldn’t be you if you didn’t push the limit in your need to protect the people that matter to you,” Jared managed to reply with a snort that turned into a groan the moment he felt hot lips on his jaw, closely followed by a graze of teeth and he wondered just how they’d gone from talking about reuniting to making out. “I don’t like it or the time I lost with you and Jayna but so long as you swear to never cast a spell on me like that again and you let me protect you guys like I know you’ll still try to protect me then I guess we’re good.”

Jensen paused in what he was doing to consider that before deciding he could live with those conditions even if he and Jared did butt heads at times. “I don’t use magic unless I have to and I will never use it on you…unless you come home bleeding. Then healing you happens without debate. We’ll…put that other thing up for compromise after Christmas,” he replied, feeling a twinge of pain but ignoring it for the moment. “Tell me what you want, Jay.”

“You,” Jared said instantly, fingers digging into his own leg and the back of the sofa rather than what he wanted to touch; understanding that what they were doing was going to have to wait until Jensen was healed more. “I’ve always wanted just you, Jen. Now I want you and our daughter.”

“You’ve got us, babe. You’ve got me.” Jensen went to reach for Jared to bring him closer only to be reminded quickly and painfully that his right arm was immobilized for a reason when searing pain went through his shoulder. “Shit!” he gasped and prayed he didn’t pass out or throw up when he found himself being gently lowered to lay on the sofa, warm lips brushing over his cheek. “I…kinda planned to kiss you and I still do. Just wait for things to stop spinning or…”

Jared’s smile was soft, something he knew he could get away with since right then Jensen’s eyes were clamped shut to work past the pain. “I know you’ll kiss me as soon as you can, Jensen,” he murmured, easing off the sofa so he could kneel on the floor and rest his forehead against Jensen’s. “You need to go up and lie down in a bed while I take care of you, this place, and make sure the house is fully cleaned up for when our little girl gets here tomorrow.”

“Once Jayna gets here I probably won’t have a chance to try to kiss you until she goes back to school,” Jensen muttered, clearly unhappy with his injuries right then but smiled slightly as Jared murmured against his ear. “Hmm, I might take you up on that offer, Agent Padalecki. What do you plan to do if I go up and sleep until this pain goes away?” he asked curiously.

“Put up a tree and try to ignore how much I want to be up there with you,” Jared returned and knew that he had finally found the life he’d wanted as Jensen laughed the one true laugh that he only did when it was just them alone.

“I haven’t gone out to buy a tree yet so unless you want to, let’s work on those compromises and you can come upstairs with me so you can be sure I take all the correct pills,” Jensen knew he didn’t need that much help but he wanted as much time with Jared alone before their active daughter got home.

After brief consideration that was what Jared did. He suspected Jensen had other plans but figured the moment the man stretched out after taking the medications prescribed that he’d fall into a sound sleep so didn’t worry when exactly that happened.

Now as Jensen leaned in the kitchen doorway to watch his family after finally waking up feeling almost human again after days of sleeping, resting, and healing, he smiled as two sets of identical bright eyes looked his way with sheepish grins and decided that he was outnumbered.

A look at the smoking microwave had him sighing but simply moved a finger to dispel the smoke and whatever had caused it; deciding that he might be making more exceptions to his ‘no magic in the house’ rule for the next little while or until he was fully back on his feet.

“Hi Daddy!” Jayna spun on her chair to give her father a bright smile, holding out a cookie. “We’re getting snacks ready before I go to bed. Want one?” she asked.

Jensen had learned quickly that while Jared was great at some things there were also things the young Federal Marshal couldn’t do to save his life; cooking and trying to put up a live Christmas tree among those.

His injuries, the meds and his body’s need to rest once he was safe at home, safe with someone he trusted had Jensen just sleeping like the dead for about 18 hours.

He woke up to the sounds of his daughter’s laughing squeal, something crashing, Jared using a lot more colorful language than was normal and then Jayna asking if once they caught it if she could keep it. That had Jensen struggling to get out of bed in a hurry only to wish he hadn’t once he saw the condition of the living room.

A single look had told him that the duo, who were much too alike than Jensen had ever really considered, had gone out into the back yard and somehow cut down one of the smaller pine trees back there to use as a Christmas tree. That knowledge also told Jensen he probably had a pissed off chipmunk running loose in the house since he knew there was a family of them living in those trees.

Jared had looked as guilty and crestfallen then as he looked right now as Jensen stepped into the kitchen to accept the clearly charred cookie from a happy Jayna.

“I’ll finish helping Daddy get the snacks ready while you go up, change into your pajamas and crawl into bed so we can tuck you in before Santa passes by,” Jensen told her with a kiss to her soft dark hair, eyes lifting to her partner in crime.

“Don’t forget the milk!” Jayna called as she ran out of the kitchen, excited for once to go to bed. “Chocolate milk, Daddy!”

Jensen decided not to ask why Santa needed chocolate milk as he tapped the cookie on the counter to feel how hard it was. “Santa’s getting store bought cookies or else you can explain the food poisoning to your boss,” he said but was quick to smile as he caught Jared’s chin in his hand, lifting it so their eyes met. “I love you, Jared,” he whispered as he leaned up to brush a kiss over a flour covered cheek, eyes light with mischief. “Help me tuck her in for Santa and I’ll give you an early Christmas present.”

They had yet to kiss fully and that night Jensen aimed to change that just as soon as their daughter was asleep and he got Jared alone.

“I thought we had to put something together,” Jared wiped his hands and the counter free of cookie crumbs and flour to try to clean up some of the mess as he’d seen from how the house looked that Jensen still liked to have things cleaned up or as clean as possible with a child around. “Something with wheels, spokes, handlebars and makes me shudder just trying to imagine it all falling apart the first time she rides it…does it have safety equipment?” he asked, suddenly nervous and not sure why.

“Yes, it does and yes, we do but I’ve learned since having her how to prioritize,” Jensen told him, hearing Jayna calling for them.

Jayna had quickly and easily adjusted to Jared’s sudden presence in their lives as if he had always been. She’s clung to both of her fathers the day she got home and cried a little until Jensen snuggled with her while explaining that while he had some boo-boos that he’d be fine soon. She also liked it that she got to help her new Daddy learn things around the house that was easy for her even if things did smoke or the chipmunk might still be inside somewhere.

Now she liked her bedtime routine as she got to snuggle and have a story read to her while both she and Jared listened. That night was special since Santa would be coming and she’d been good all day so she got two stories; eyes heavy and already half asleep by the time Jensen finished the shorter second tale.

“G’night, baby girl,” Jared whispered after lightly kissing her forehead. “Dream sweet and in the morning Santa will have come.”

“I got my Yule wish, Daddy, so even if Santa is too busy to come this year I have both you and Daddy so I’m happy,” she said with a yawn, little fingers clinging to Jensen’s wrist a moment longer after he’d adjusted her blankets as best he could with his left hand. “Daddy? Will Daddy…stay even after you get better?” she asked softly, worry plain on her face.

Glancing up at where Jared stood by the door to see him nod, Jensen felt his throat tighten a little as he realized that Jared really might make the choice to stay with them fully or at least make some adjustments. “I think he will but it might take some time for him to arrange it so he might have to leave a little,” he told her and adored her happy smile as she snuggled into bed and he stepped to the door to look back once before joining Jared in the hall. “We never discussed how much you’re willing to change your life for us yet,” he began slowly, refusing to show how nervous it made him now to think about how empty this house would seem if Jared left.

“My life changed the day I walked into JD’s office and saw Jayna,” Jared knew this was a big choice; one that he’d been waiting to bring up until after the holiday.

Jared suspected that Jensen might be a little worried that once he healed, once Jared got more used to being with them that he might get bored or decide that having a family wasn’t for him and would leave.

“I don’t really want to leave my job as I do like helping people but I have talked with JD about relocating to an office closer to Porter’s Valley or even taking a desk job for a year or so until we can decide how this would work if I have to go into the field for a week or so,” he followed Jensen down the hall, away from Jayna’s colorfully decorated door. “I love you, Jensen. I love Jayna. I want to be a family.”

Jensen had been mentally debating which priority to focus on when Jared said this and his choice was made. Shifting easily, he gave Jared a gentle nudge that took them into the Master bedroom rather than head downstairs to attempt the bicycle construction. “We are a family, Jared,” he told him in a voice thick with emotion. “I would never ask you to change your life or give up a job you love. We’ll make it work just so long as you promise to always come home safe to us…to me.”

“I might not always promise safe but I will always promise to come home to you and our little girl, Jen,” Jared replied once he’d swallowed the lump in his throat. “Jensen? I know we have stuff to put together, and I swear to clean the kitchen but…” he stopped at the sound of the bedroom door closing, locking and a second later Jared felt his back hit solid wood when he was pushed back against it.

“I think I mentioned something about giving you an early Christmas present,” Jensen had thought about this moment from the first second he woke up to the realization that Jared wasn’t a dream.

He’d envisioned plenty of things that he’d like to do as he and Jared restarted the physical side of their relationship but even as Jensen stepped closer so his chest pressed against Jared’s and he felt strong hands automatically move to his hips as if to steady him all those ideas of heat and passion left him.

Jensen raised his left hand to card back through Jared’s hair before letting his fingers stroke down in jaw with a feather touch that had Jared’s breath catching and his own blood heating. “Merry Christmas, Jay,” he murmured a second before their lips met.

**TBC (one more time)**


	7. Chapter 7

**The Magic of Christmas**

**Chapter Seven**

It had been six long years since Jared Padalecki had allowed himself to be this close to another man in a non-professional way, much less let himself be kissed. A piece of him had a second to feel as young, as scared and inexperienced as he had the first time Jensen had kissed him years earlier. Then their lips touched and all of Jared’s thoughts and worries scattered.

Jared had expected heat and need from this first kiss. He’d seen the want in Jensen’s deep green eyes and remembered plenty of times when their lovemaking had been all heat, desire, and a need for one another.

The moment Jensen had backed him up against the closed bedroom door Jared had expected that some demanding heat and passion but then Jensen kissed him and it took every ounce of strength and willpower Jared had not to melt; not from heat as there was none in this first kiss but just from the force of emotion that hit him at what the kiss did hold.

Love, tenderness, and a gentleness that Jared knew Jensen only showed with him was what Jared felt the moment they kissed. This wasn’t a kiss between two lovers seeking to find one another after years apart but more like their first kiss when Jensen had been so damn gentle with him that Jared thought he’d go crazy.

“Missed you, babe,” Jensen whispered against his lips, tongue gently gliding over Jared’s until they parted to give him silent permission to enter and explore. “I missed kissing you. I missed touching you. I missed hearing every sound you used to make as I kissed and touched you.”

“God,” Jared’s head fell back against the door with a groan, body heating but managing to keep still and keep his hands on Jensen’s hips instead of moving them like he would’ve if he didn’t know his boyfriend still had injuries. “That…swear jar stays out of the bedroom, right?” he asked tightly, gasping at the feel of teeth grazing along his jaw before following the line of his neck.

“Hell, yeah,” Jensen’s tone had gone to the slightly rougher, sex and sin covered in honey tone that had driven Jared to distraction more times than he liked. “It only comes into play when Jayna’s around. In here, in our room, in our bed there is no swear jar and I want to hear you, Jared.”

“Fuck!” Jared had to bite his lip while remembering to keep his voice down but swore the moment Jensen’s mouth closed on his throat to begin to suck on his pulse point that he was going to implode. “How…damn, I forgot how good you were with your mouth…how sore is that arm and…how far can we go tonight?” he managed to ask before his thought his brain melted.

Jensen lifted his eyes to see that Jared’s already were mostly all pupil as he gave another slow kiss that soon had Jared’s fingers tightening on his hips; an act that told Jensen that his friend was trying to hold back. He stepped back just a few steps to slowly trail his fingers down Jared’s chest before reaching for the sling he still wore.

“It’s still sore but I can move it enough to go without this for the night,” he removed the sling and let it drop to the carpeted floor before reaching for his shirt. “I’m not sure if it matters but I want you to know that I haven’t been with anyone else since the last night we slept together. I’m not foolish enough to think that you…”

“No, I never wanted anyone else but you; not a man, not a woman,” Jared had to work to regain his ability to think as it hit him what was really happening, watching as first the sling went and then Jensen pulled his shirt off over his head with only a slight hiss of pain from his right shoulder and arm; swallowing hard as he watched toned muscle be revealed. “Dad tried to set me up once but that was when I left. You were who I loved, Jen. You were the only one that I felt…right with.”

Jensen thought he might die right then and there as Jared said that because while Jared had been handsome and good looking before now as Jensen took in the broad shoulders, long arms and legs toned with muscle earned from the job Jared loved he figured he’d had both men and women looking at him.

He watched as Jared looked at him, giving the younger man time as he had before but this time Jensen felt a little unsure about his body.

“You’re gorgeous, Jensen,” Jared said as if sensing the man’s uneasiness, stepping away from the door to reach for the bottom of his t-shirt to pull it off in one fluid motion before cautiously holding out a hand. “Okay?” he asked, still wary about crossing lines that had been built between them and would need to be knocked down slowly.

“You have never needed to ask for permission to touch me, Jared,” Jensen said but understood Jared’s concerns so gave a slight nod, lips curving at the way long fingers just barely brushed the skin as Jared touched his flat and toned stomach. “I still have to wonder myself when I look at Jayna now that she was inside there for nearly nine months. She was as active and hyper as you by the third month. By the sixth, I was convinced she was going to come out all leg since she loved to kicked…and I am so sorry that you didn’t get to experience any of that.”

Jared was too but he understood the reasons behind Jensen’s decision to not tell him about the baby. He’d regret the things he missed as well as not being there to help Jensen but Jared had long ago learned not to dwell on the past and would now look forward to the future they would build with their daughter.

“Was it…hard?” he did ask, concerned for the risk Jensen might have faced; fingers trailing over toned muscle before moving up Jensen’s chest.

“A little and they’re not sure I could ever carry another baby,” Jensen stood still to watch Jared’s eyes darken more as he ran his fingers up his chest. “I suppose…if you wanted…once we get settled with everything that we could try for…”

“I wouldn’t ask you to do that again, Jensen. I won’t ask you to bottom again since we both know you’re more comfortable topping and I’m still more comfortable with you topping,” Jared’s light touch paused just over the still visible sign of the knife wound on Jensen’s side. “Do you feel okay to make love or do you just want to make out some before I go down and see if I can put together some toys?” he asked, concerned that this might be too soon. “I’m fine with waiting. I know you have to take it easy and I don’t want to explain to the ER why you pulled any stitches out.”

Jensen caught Jared’s face between his palms, cupping it gently to offer a slow smile. “I won’t promise that it’ll be as slow or drawn out like I’d want our first time back together to be but I can promise not to hurt myself, not to hurt you and to still give you pleasure,” he said and then caught Jared’s mouth in a much hotter kiss that soon had both men gasping and wanting more.

Jared was trying to remind himself to keep things slow or not as rough as they sometimes played but he was soon reminded that by giving full control over to Jensen in regards to their lovemaking he often had to play catch-up; this was the case now as he hit the bed with a laugh.

“Shouldn’t I have taken my jeans off before you got me on the bed?” he asked after he pushed his hair out of his eyes, breath catching as he watched Jensen kneel slowly on the bed between his legs.

“No, because that’s my job,” Jensen returned with a grin that was pure sex and sin, running his hands up long legs as he leaned down until their chests touched and feeling Jared’s arms wrapping around him. “Still trust me, Jay?” he asked, teeth lightly nipping Jared’s full bottom lip before pulling it into his mouth to suck gently.

Jared wondered if it were possible for his brain to melt just from kisses, making himself focus to give Jensen a look that meant he thought that question was foolish and making his boyfriend laugh.

Sharing kisses that switched from deep and hot to slow and gentle soon had Jared shaking for more. He could feel his jeans becoming tighter as his cock, trapped by too many layers of clothes, responded to both Jensen’s heating kisses and the way the man’s knee teased him.

“Jen…God…I’m going to bust if we don’t do something more soon!” he arched up despite trying to stay still when Jensen’s mouth closed over a hard little nub on his chest, rolling it with his tongue.

Jensen recognized the strain on Jared’s face and understood it. He could feel his own body heating, jeans becoming tight to the point where he had to unzip them; easing back so he could slowly skim Jared’s jeans and briefs down his legs and then had to pause to take in the hard, muscular body in front of him.

“Damn,” he breathed once he found the ability to speak again. From the first time he and Jared had gone past simple fooling around and he got his first good look at his shy boyfriend’s already impressive body. “You’re still drop dead gorgeous, Jay.”

Jared had been told this countless times by others but when Jensen said it he knew the man meant it and it still made Jared’s flush pink.

“God, I didn’t think I could still make you blush like that,” Jensen chuckled and caught Jared’s mouth in a searing kiss that took his breath away. “Love you,” he whispered into the kiss. “Roll over?”

Jared eagerly followed that request, groaning and shooting a mild bitch face over his shoulder at his smirking boyfriend when Jensen gave a tug that brought him more to his knees. “Jen, you don’t have to…” he’d started to say that he could do this without the usual prep that Jensen had always been careful to give only to go still at the feel of soft lips touching the back of his neck.

“I might not have any lube since sex has not been high on my list of things to do but that does not mean we’re doing this without me prepping you in some way,” Jensen’s tone was low, deep in a way that told Jared that he was just as strained with desire but willing to hold back until he was sure Jared wouldn’t be hurt by their lovemaking.

Jared bit his lip to keep from reminding his boyfriend that he was still not a china doll that needed handled carefully, knowing from experience that the more he tried to rush Jensen the slower the man would ultimately go.

As it turned out, Jensen might have been willing to slow things down enough to give Jared some prep; stretching him with the help of some baby oil he’d located in his adjoining bathroom.

It surprised Jensen slightly how tight Jared felt when he first circled the rim of his hole with a fingertip only to recall that Jared had admitted to having no other sex partner; that thought as well as the way Jared’s body just seemed to clench around his finger nearly had Jensen losing what control he had.

By the time he got to where he could scissor two fingers easily Jensen was silently praying for strength while also trying to keep Jared calm by pressing soft, soothing kisses along broad shoulders. “Shhh, just a little bit longer, Jay,” he murmured in a voice that was lower, huskier as he worked to not just shed his jeans and shove into the tight heat that he could feel around his fingers. “You’re doing so good, babe. I promise to make this feel so good for you.”

Jared was fighting his body’s need to either shove back against the fingers currently stretching him or try to find some relief for his steadily dripping cock. He made himself focus on Jensen’s voice, the feel of his lips sliding along his shoulders, his neck and throat. Turning his head to the side, Jared welcomed the distraction when a hot kiss caught his mouth, tongue slipping inside to meet and play with his until he was shaking with need.

“Jensen,” he groaned once the kiss broke so Jensen could kiss down his back, teeth grazing over skin before beginning to suck on the knob of bone at the top of his spine. “Jen…please, I don’t care if I can’t move tomorrow more than the couch to the floor to play with Jayna. I…just wanna feel you…now!”

Jensen chuckled, resting his forehead against Jared’s shoulder to give his three fingers another testing motion to see how free they moved before deciding he’d done the best he could right then. “I forgot how bossy you could be,” he offered a gentle kiss to the side of Jared’s throat before easing off the bed to finally shed his jeans and boxer briefs, smirking a little more at the soft words he heard before Jared turned to bury his face against his folded arms. “Really? And you never said that to me before?”

“Back then I was lucky to say anything to you during sex much less say something that would probably have made me blush,” Jared lifted his head enough to peek once to watch Jensen’s lean, trim, athletic body as he climbed back onto the bed to kneel behind Jared. “I was always afraid you’d either laugh or make fun of me for being too emotional if I told you that I thought you were beautiful.”

Jensen didn’t see himself as others did or as Jared still did so it always caught him off guard to hear that someone thought he was good looking; especially after he’d carried a child nearly the whole nine months. He’d paused to consider Jared’s words now and then leaned up enough so he could place a kiss to the corner of Jared’s temple.

“I never thought you were too emotional and would never have made fun of you for speaking to me honestly,” he said in a voice that showed his emotions. “I loved you back then for your ability to be honest with me over anything and I love you now, Jared.” Jensen said before pouring some oil in his hand to coat his dripping, red, and angry cock. “Tell me if this still hurts?”

“Dude, something else is going to hurt if you don’t stop treating me like I was 16 and put your dick in my ass before our kid wakes up,” Jared’s tone was pure frustration, glancing over his shoulder to catch a sexy grin and a flash from deep green eyes that made him blink. “Jen? What’re you…”

“I don’t use magic like my family or other witches do anymore. I haven’t seen I left home to give Jayna a life away from all of that,” Jensen began while slowly letting the head of his cock nudge the well stretched rim of his boyfriend’s ass to feel it stretch more but still felt tight to him. “I promised myself that I wouldn’t and I haven’t. However, that doesn’t mean that for little things like smoking microwaves, bruises or bloody knees or making sure sex between us this time doesn’t hurt you that I won’t. Trust me?”

“Always,” Jared replied, meeting Jensen’s kiss when he stretched up to kiss him. He felt his body stretching as Jensen’s hips gave slow rolls; there was pressure but no pain and Jared wasn’t sure if that was just his body accepting Jensen again or whatever minor spell the other man might have used. “How long before Jayna goes back to school?” he suddenly asked, fighting his own body’s desire to thrust back so he could get Jensen flush.

“About…two weeks, I think,” Jensen had to think about that since their daughter’s schooling was the last thing on Jensen’s brain right then as he worked to put his cock up into tight heat as inner muscles clenched around him until finally both men felt a change. “Fuck! I forgot how good you feel, Jay,” he gasped after a solid thrust finally took him flush, balls to ass and both men groaned in relief.

Jared’s hips slowly matching each thrust Jensen made until they found a rhythm that suited them both. His body was on edge, his cock well past ready to explode but still when a strong arm wrapped around his chest to bring Jared up and back to him the younger man managed to keep his clenching hands off his cock.

“Jensen…” he bit his lip at the feel of hot lips caressing over his neck before he felt a teasing bite on his sensitive earlobe and Jared swore he was going to lose it soon. “Jen! Please…I’ve gotta…”

“I know, Jay. I know. I’ve got you,” Jensen could tell Jared was at his breaking point just by how tense the younger man was when he pulled him back so his back was pressed to Jensen’s chest; an act that took Jensen’s cock right up against the spot inside Jared that had always made him come untouched.

Slightly surprised that it didn’t this time with as tense as Jared felt in his arms and by how angry his weeping cock looked right then, it took Jensen a second to understand what was happening and it made him love Jared all the more.

The last few times they’d been together, Jared had refused to come unless Jensen touched him or told him to. It had been his way to show his lover that he had patience in something. So as Jensen realized that Jared was straining to hold his climax back because he hadn’t given him permission he closed his eyes against the sudden burning emotions he felt, and caught Jared’s mouth in a searing kiss.

“You’ve been so good tonight, so damn patient for me, Jay,” he murmured, fingers gliding over Jared’s chest before starting to slide lower at the whimper of need he heard. “Come when you want now, Jared. Come for me.”

Jared liked when they could climax together or at least close to the same time. He’d held back for as long as possible but the low, throaty murmur against his ear at the same time as strong fingers wrapped around his cock and his prostate was given a solid hit by Jensen’s cock had him giving up.

“Jensen!” he had a brief second to remember they weren’t alone in the house and to keep his voice as hushed as possible when he shouted his lover’s name as he came hard and fast.

Keeping his hips thrusting, Jensen made sure to hit Jared’s prostate with each move while also stroking his cock in long steady strokes in an effort to help milk his orgasm for all it was worth.

Watching Jared’s face as he climaxed was something Jensen didn’t think he’d ever get tired of as he watched it now before finally letting his own orgasm hit him and take him over the edge.

For the next several moments, both men were lost in each other. The bedroom silent except for soft words and a few that Jared would come to remember weren’t shared vocally but over a link it seemed still existed between them.

He shivered at the feel of hot come filling him, hips moving back and forth slowly as if wanting to help Jensen draw out his own climax but could feel his cock becoming sensitive to touch now. Jared felt the fingers pulling away as if Jensen sensed it was time to but before he could try to find any words he literally saw white spots in front of his eyes a second before things went white for him.

“Jared? Jay!” Jensen had been working on helping Jared over the last bit of his orgasm when he heard the whimper and went to move his hand away just as he caught a brief flash of white only seconds before Jared’s body became dead weight in his arms. “Shh, I’ve got you, Jay. I’ve got you now,” he whispered, emotions flooding him as he held Jared against him before finally shifting so he could lay them both on their sides.

Staying still to cool down, to settle his pounding heart and just watch Jared as he slept after the force of what they’d shared hit him and knocked him out for a few minutes.

After six years of being alone, of being celibate the force of the mutual orgasms almost put Jensen out as well but he refused to sleep, to rest until he took care of Jared like he always had and until he could see the sleepy, sexed out smile that he knew would be coming.

“I love you, Jared,” he whispered into a light kiss after he slowly, carefully eased out; quick to offer reassurances when he heard Jared whimper sleepily when he felt the loss of their connection. “Shhh, I’m not leaving you, Jay. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

Jensen had grabbed a warm cloth from the bathroom, cleaned them both up enough to sleep and then managed to get a sleepy, clingy and very determined Jared into a pair of soft sleep pants before letting himself be tugged back into bed.

“Your daughter is just like that when I try to get her ready for bed some nights,” he laughed and looked into heavy but clear eyes just as he also watched Jared’s dimples pop out in the smile that Jensen had longed to see again. “Merry Christmas, Jared,” he said as they shared a deep, longing kiss that showed love and devotion rather than heat.

Jared’s body felt relaxed, his mind sex-out that he didn’t even try to wake up enough to do more than kiss Jensen, murmur a return ‘Merry Christmas’ before turning more into arms that he knew would always be there to welcome him. “Love you, Jensen,” he mumbled as sleep began to pull him under again.

“I love you too, Jared,” Jensen smiled as he watched Jared drift off with his hand held under Jensen’s own and his head managing to find the one spot between Jensen’s neck and shoulder that he always had.

Once Jared was still, his breathing even and Jensen was certain he was asleep, he let his own eyes close with the plan to just sleep for about a half an hour and then he’d go try to assemble what he could of their little girl’s gifts.

An excited shout, a happy squeal of Jayna’s laughter had both men jolting awake sometime later the next morning just as their daughter burst into the bedroom and made a beeline toward the bed.

“Daddy! Daddy! Santa came and he ate his cookies! He left presents and a new bike with a pink basket and…” she hopped onto the bed and quickly scrambled up until she was between her parents, not even considering it odd to find them together as she was too excited about Santa having come. “Get up so we can open presents!” she added and then was gone just as quickly as she’d run in.

Jared was blinking sleep out of his eyes still when he glanced next to him to see Jensen watching him curiously. “Did you put her bike together?” he asked and immediately felt guilty for falling to sleep and leaving a still sore Jensen with that chore. “You should’ve woken me up and I would’ve…hmm, good morning to you too, Mr. Ackles,” he finally got out after Jensen leaned over to kiss him deeply.

“I didn’t put that bike together or wrap the rest of her presents much less put them out or lose those cookies,” Jensen said, fingers trailing down Jared’s jaw to feel the five o’clock shadow there. “I thought maybe you had.”

“Okay, so if I didn’t and you didn’t…who the hell did?” Jared was frowning when Jayna called for them.

Jensen wasn’t sure but right then decided it didn’t matter. “Let’s go share Christmas with our daughter, Jared,” he said softly, lips curving as he watched Jared’s own smile widen as they headed down to see the tree light and surrounded with presents…a lot more presents than Jensen knew he’d bought and suspected he might know who had helped with this bit of Christmas magic.

The morning passed in a blur of shredded paper, wide eyes from both parents and child and Jensen vowing to kill his friend the next time Chris Kane showed his face since there was no way in hell anyone else would’ve bought Jayna a mini set of drums.

Jared was in the middle of deciding when and how the drum set would be vanishing when he heard his cell phone ring with a tone that made him frown.

Seeing that Jensen was focused on watching a shaky Jayna try out her new bike with training wheels still on in between the rooms, he stepped into the kitchen before answering the call. “Yeah?”

This tone was totally different than any he used with either casual friend or fellow agent. This was the tone he only used with people from a past he’d walked away from…like his father.

“Where are you?” Aaron Padalecki demanded in a harsh angry growl.

“Not that it’s any of your business, but I’m where I need to be,” Jared replied, unwilling to share too many details right then. “What do you want, Dad?” he asked with a tired sigh, looking back at a shrill of laugher that was followed by Jensen’s deeper one and deciding that he was not allowing this call to ruin this day.

“Since your boss told us that you were on some type of personal leave I thought I’d call you myself to tell you that your brother’s dead. Died in his cell of what’s being called suicide but I doubt if that was the case,” Aaron said, sneer in his voice plain. “Some damn witch hired by Ackles probably snuck in and killed him.”

Jared felt surprise but he also didn’t feel any remorse like he thought he probably should’ve. “Ben was in a secure cell and guarded by Feds, Dad. I doubt anyone snuck in just to kill him,” he suspected the truth was much different but really didn’t care right then. “There’d be no reason to kill him given that he was looking at the death penalty anyway for all the people he murdered.”

“Bullshit! No judge would convict him for killing witches!” Aaron snapped, furious that Jared still wasn’t following basic common sense. “Your brother…”

“Ben killed innocent people, Dad. It didn’t matter if they were witches. He killed them looking to get to Jensen. He nearly killed Jensen and for that I would’ve made certain he got the death penalty or I would’ve risked my job and did the goddamn deed myself,” Jared heard the sharp inhale and knew that he’d just finished breaking any thin bonds he might have had with his family.

“You can mourn your son. I will enjoy being with the man I love and our daughter,” he felt Jensen a second before a hand touched his neck to offer support. “I said when I walked out six years ago that I was done with you, with what you believed and I still hold to that. You and your pals stay on the right side of the law or else I will handle it. You keep your pals or anyone else away from my family or else I promise you, Dad, that Mom will be a widow.”

The phone dropped to the counter and even before Jared could get rid of the shouts that had filled his ears he felt Jensen pulling him into a hard embrace, just holding him and offering soft assurances that everything would be fine.

“I know it will,” Jared whispered and just let himself be held for the next several moments until the sound of drums were heard and he heard Jensen vow to break Chris at his knees. “I love you, Jensen,” he said suddenly, needing to say the words when he knew they’d be returned and meant. “I’m sorry you were hurt but I won’t be sorry that it brought us back together. I’m also not sorry my brother is dead. Now I know you and Jayna will be safe.”

Jensen hadn’t heard the whole conversation between father and son but he’d picked up enough from Jared’s thoughts to know Ben Padalecki was dead. He also suspected he knew how but a look from Jared told him to let it go and not worry about it as they went back to spend Christmas with their daughter, plans for many more Christmas mornings not far from either man’s thoughts.

Later that night once Jayna had played herself into an exhausted sleep and Jensen was close to drifting off as he and Jared sat on the sofa in front of the tree and fireplace. “You know who killed him.”

It wasn’t a question and Jared knew that. He suspected who had the skill to get past Federal Marshalls and make a murder look like a suicide but he had no plans to ever reveal that he did.

“I know that whoever did it has the skills to do it and get back out clean. I know he saved me the trouble and for that I won’t shoot him for buying our daughter those damn drums,” Jared didn’t look next to him, fearing what he might see in Jensen’s eyes when he felt warm lips touch his cheek before Jensen rested his head on his shoulder as they settled into the start of a new life for all of them.

**The End**


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